


Enemies don't love each other (except when they do)

by Spacepandaboy



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, BDSM, Blood, Bondage, Bottom Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster, Bottom Kim Taehyung | V, Bottom Park Jimin, Clumsy Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster, Coming Untouched, Crossdressing Kink, Dom Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Dom Park Jimin, Dom/sub, Drugs, Dry Humping, Dry Orgasm, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gangs, Gangsters, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Porn Hard, Gay Sex, Hate Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecure Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster, Jeon Jungkook is a Little Shit, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster Are Best Friends, Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster & Min Yoongi | Suga Are Best Friends, Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Kim Seokjin | Jin Is a Good Hyung, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Love/Hate, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, Minor GOT7 (Ensemble), Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Park Jimin Is a Sweetheart, Persecution, Police, Police Officer Kim Seokjin | Jin, References to Drugs, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Sex Toys, Smut, Strip Tease, Stripper Kim Taehyung | V, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Sub Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster, Top Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Top Kim Seokjin | Jin, Top Min Yoongi | Suga, Violence, au bts, bts - Freeform, minor jackson got7, namjin - Freeform, vhope - Freeform, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 18:03:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12259365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacepandaboy/pseuds/Spacepandaboy
Summary: Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin want the exact same things: love, sex, catching the biggest drug dealer in Korea...What could possibly go wrong?Obviously the fact that they needed to kill each other was not a problem.Not at all.********Or, the one where Namjoon is a gangster, Seokjin is a police officer and they need to get to the same guy while dealing with a secret relationship that is not meant to happen at all.





	1. We're not supposed to be enemies

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome, boys and girls, to the BTS gangster/police AU no one asked for!  
> so, this came to me because I just love me some angst and forbidden love and Namjin is my OTP so, yeah, that happened...  
> I really hope you guys enjoy this as much as me and, although this chapter is short, it is just the intro!  
> I'll stop rambling and let you guys read now,, see ya at the end notes!

\- Yeah, just… Fuck - Namjoon hissed trough gritted teeth while Seokjin pounded into him with all his force, the elder’s hips snapping harshly and colliding with Namjoon’s ass with wet slaps.  
Namjoon was propped up on all fours. Well, as much as he could with his face pressed against the mattress and ass lifted upwards, his column arched while both his wrists were being kept locked behind his back by one of Seokjin’s big hands.  
\- Watch your mouth - Seokjin said while delivering a harsh slap to one of Namjoon’s butt cheeks, making the younger moan with the sting, burying his face in the red silk sheets - you like that, huh? Like it when I slap that pretty ass of yours? When I make sure you behave just like the little slut you are? - Seokjin slapped Namjoon’s ass again, eliciting the younger to moan even louder - answer me, bitch - the elder moved his hand to grip Namjoon’s hair and pull his head upwards - do you like it? - He repeated.  
And, God, did Namjoon fucking loved being like that. He loved being held and used, being spread open and eaten out and fucked. He loved being tossed around like a rag doll, being Seokjin’s toy just for the elder’s pleasure. Just the thought of all that made him shiver.  
\- Y-yeah, I l-like it - Namjoon panted, his face heating up at the way his voice trembled, God, he was so fucking desperate, he wanted to be fucking ruined.  
\- Yeah, yeah I know baby, that’s just what you like huh? Being filled up with my thick cock so much that you can’t even remember your own fucking name - Seokjin said bringing a hand to Namjoon’s chest so he could scoop the man closer against his chest - you love being my good slut right? Love being such a good little toy for me to fuck and use, only me… - he added and Namjoon screamed as Seokjin’s cock hit his prostate just right.  
\- J-Jin…Hyung please… - the younger mewled, his cock was just so fucking hard, aching to be touched, red and leaking pre cum. He couldn’t resist much longer, they’ve been like that for a while now and Seokjin was fucking him so damn good… He just needed one more thing so he could come undone.  
\- Please what? Say it - Seokjin knew what was coming, he knew because every time they were together it was the same and at that particular moment was always when Seokjin knew he was actually the one who was fucked and, although he knew, he just wanted to hear Namjoon say it, wanted the man to beg.  
\- M-mark me p-please hyung, f-fuck…- Namjoon blurted out, his heart pounded so hard against his ribcages that he was certain he could faint but he fucking needed that, needed to have Seokjin written all over him.  
That was usually the end of it, for Namjoon at least, he would beg for Seokjin to mark him, to leave a huge purpling mark on the juncture of his neck and shoulders, not just because it was hot, but because he fucking needed it.  
It was the only thing that he would have to remember Seokjin, at least for a couple of days.  
Seokjin growled at the request, his heart filling with something that he knew exactly what it was but insisted in ignoring it.  
\- Mine - Seokjin said in raspy low voice that made Namjoon’s entire body tremble, right before sinking his teeth in the younger’s neck and sucking with all his force, increasing to the maximum the speed of his thrusts while he gripped Namjoon’s body close to his with both arms.  
Namjoon sobbed.  
It was just too fucking much, the pressure against his prostate heavenly and Seokjin’s lips clamped against his neck, a promise that lacked words but carried a ton of unspoken desires.  
Namjoon came, hard, almost violently, and completely untouched, his body convulsing while his hole tightened around Seokjin’s cock, his cum splattering across the sheets in thick ropes of white.  
He collapsed against the elder’s arms that were still holding him strongly, his mind going numb.  
Seokjin came with just one more snapping of his hips, Namjoon’s hole was still gripping against him tightly and he couldn’t resist leaving another mark just above the one he made before, spilling himself inside the younger.  
After a couple of seconds of coming out of his haze, Seokjin laid Namjoon gently on a dry spot of the huge bed, going after some towels to clean the man who was already drifting off to sleep.  
He couldn’t stop himself from watching as he stroked the younger’s body with a warm wet cotton towel.  
Namjoon was beautiful.  
Not exactly built, but with lots of muscles showing through a healthy layer of fat that Seokjin very much appreciated. He hated when the younger was too thin and not eating correctly. Namjoon’s blonde hair was sticking in some odd angles and his face was flushed pink and so, so fucking perfect.  
Seokjin wouldn’t change anything.  
Anything except the fact that this was the part he hated the most about being with Namjoon. The part when he needed to go away again and leave the younger alone.  
It hurt, it fucking hurt and he sometimes wondered if could just say a huge “fuck you” to all of the rules that kept them apart and run away with Namjoon.  
But he knew he couldn’t put either his or the younger’s life in risk, so he always dressed himself up after he made sure Namjoon was laying in his soft, dry bed and that his body was all nice and clean, except for the marks he left on the golden skin.  
Those were the only things he could do to let the younger know that he cared for him, far more than he should or could. He couldn’t let any of this get out of control, even though it was already a crazy mess.  
He couldn’t.  
When he was completely dressed and clean, Seokjin collected his brown leather bag from the floor and made his way to the bedroom door where he turned one last time to check on Namjoon.  
He sucked in a breath when he saw that Namjoon was not sleeping like always, instead, he had his eyes open and was sitting on the edge of the bed with the silk sheets wrapped around his body, his expression one of a lost child.  
\- Hyung… - Namjoon said, no louder than a whisper, swallowing visibly, his eyes glinting and staring into Seokjin’s soul, so different than the Namjoon he knew outside of bed, the namjoon who was strong, competitive and absolutely alpha-like.  
Seokjin’s chest tightened at the tone of the younger’s voice, full of hurt and confusion, something he rarely got the chance to see.  
At the moment he wanted nothing more than to just come back to bed and hug and comfort the blonde but he knew he couldn’t and, most importantly, Seokjin knew if he did that, it would just be harder, on both of them.  
So he just casted his eyes down and walked out of the door, closing it with a soft “click”, feeling like shit and leaving Namjoon all alone, once again.  
Namjoon would not allow himself to cry.  
He just couldn’t let his feelings burst out like that, especially not when Seokjin could still hear him until he reached the front doors.  
It hurt so much. It just wasn’t fair that they needed to be apart like that, that they needed to stay separated and live a lie, always making sure to not let their feelings rise to the surface.  
He didn’t even know why he called Seokjin that way in the first place, his voice all hoarse and his eyes watery. Fucking pathetic.  
He knew the elder couldn’t stay, he knew he had to leave and that they needed to be apart.  
It’s not like Namjoon didn’t enjoy his lifestyle, much the opposite, he rather liked being a gangster.  
You see, in the stone jungle that they lived in, it was either kill or be killed, and Namjoon went through so much at such a young age, he just couldn’t keep up with so much injustice and just didn’t want to see any other kid suffer because of their shitty government and politics.  
They were not technically bad, although he had killed and tortured several people countless times, he believed it was for the best.  
The gang he was in was rather new and consisted in him plus three more men: Yoongi, Hoseok and Jimin.  
They grew up together, going through the same shit and creating a bond that was more powerful than any blood bond that existed.  
They loved each other very very much.  
Namjoon’s gang was not the one to deal with such things as drugs and prostitution, much the opposite, they trained to get rid of these things, finding drug dealers and pimps and kill (sometimes torture in exchange of information) them, just so they could help make this kind of business become less and less common and, since this kind of stuff nearly mattered to the government and they just wanted money, they put very little effort into helping in those cases.  
Namjoon met Seokjin while doing some spying in a club, he got some hints as to the places where Korea’s biggest drug dealer frequented, the man that his gang was after for a long time now.  
It would feel amazing to just hand his ass to another gangster who, let’s just say, didn’t appreciate the competition, but also, on top of that, they would receive a ton of money that could help them grow a lot.  
It was just how this world was, really. Big fishes eating the smaller ones until another one would come and eat them as well, it was all a cycle and Namjoon was focused in beating all of them, silently making them kill each other so he could be on top.  
Seokjin was the definition of gorgeous, with his lean body, broad shoulders, pink lips and silky hair making every woman and man turn to look at him.  
Namjoon didn’t intend on forgetting about his mission in order to bring the man home and get fucked real good, but yeah, things happen.  
After a lot of encounters just like that one (like, at least six fucking months) Namjoon had the unpleasant surprise of finding out that Seokjin was, in fact, a police officer, something Namjoon learned to be very afraid off since he was really young, growing up in a poor neighborhood. He learned that the police was not there to help them or to make them feel safe, they were trained to kill and torture, so Namjoon learned to fight back and protect himself while doing justice with his own hands.  
Seokjin happens to be searching for the same man as well, all of the police squad, leaded by Seokjin, took the same hints as his gang, making them appear at the same place and time, engaging in some really awkward and not pretty to see encounter with lots of gunshot wounds and blood.  
After that night, Namjoon knew that destiny was definitely trying to make things harder on him.  
He knew it was really hard to get involved in a relationship with the life he took but fuck, it could be easier.  
Of course they didn’t stop seeing each other. They couldn’t, didn’t want to, not after nearly six months of creating a bond stronger than what they had anticipated. They needed to be close but as far away as possible at the same time, because now his gang was also a target of Seokjin’s police squad, being able to escape in the last second, but being kept on a tight list of “wanted gangs”.  
Namjoon knew what all of that meant. He knew Seokjin should arrest him and all of his friends and be placed as a high class cop. He also knew he should be the one to kill the man so they were not in danger.  
None of that happened though.  
Namjoon kept trying his best to make it seem he hated the man and that he was sure to kill him whenever he had the chance, the same way Seokjin refused to arrest him and the rest of the gang and kept saying to his companions that he was trying to catch the whole group so he could throw their asses in prison forever.  
But they simply couldn’t. Namjoon was not able to kill Seokjin the same way the elder just refused to arrest Namjoon, both too weak to do what they should.  
Even though they didn’t stop seeing each other, everything changed between them after that night. Every touch was a little rougher, every word harsher, a silent way of saying that they were angry but also needed one another after spending so much time to know and learn to cherish each other company.  
They also didn’t kiss anymore.  
Kissing meant feelings and feelings meant disaster.  
That’s why Namjoon always begged Seokjin to mark him up, the only way for him to have a piece of the man he cherished so much, a memory that would last for some days, a promise that there would be a next time. But of all the things Namjoon missed in his life, he was sure he missed Seokjin’s kisses the most. He missed the way they fitted perfectly in his lonely life and made him feel like he was wanted, like he was someone important that could fill a gap in Seokjin’s heart.  
But they couldn’t.  
They couldn’t because they were enemies and enemies didn’t love each other.  
Except when they did.


	2. We don't need more troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon's gang meet someone new, more troubles flood through their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back! fisrt I just wanted to say THANK YOU! For the kudos and comments, you guys are awesome! It really inspired me to write more!  
> Thank you for tunning in! See you at the end notes!

\- Got something about the gang case, boss? - Young Jae asked Seokjin, perching on top of his chair while chewing on his pencil.  
\- Nothing new… I mean, nothing we already don’t know: they are really fucking good at hiding themselves - Seokjin lied, turning to face his computer screen.  
The truth is, he knew damn well were the gang was hiding. He knew because, not five hours ago, he was making sure Namjoon was clean and satisfied, after fucking his brains out.

Seokjin sighed. He was tired.

He was so damn tired of dealing with this particular side of his life. He was tired of having to hide his feelings and making himself look stronger than he actually was.  
When he was with Namjoon, he felt like the world was light and he could breathe. He felt like he belonged somewhere, like he could finally be himself; hold onto something real, something that was not just a dream or a desire.

But Namjoon was slowly turning into just that: a dream. And Seokjin wasn’t sure he could handle the real world if he woke up.  
\- Hey, cap! There’s a flagrant on the north side, lookouts told me about cocaine, heroin… we have a full plate - Jae Bum stormed into the room, his face slightly flushed and a side grin adorning his thin lips.  
\- Fuck - Seokjin cursed - Get the car ready - he spat the order. Being the captain, it was important that he could show his harsh but still calm side, commanding but reassuring - guys, get your shit, we’re in for a treat -he said while placing his cap on and adjusting the belt with his gun and handcuffs around his waist.  
The whole district seemed alive, breathing. Cops and more cops gathered themselves around the police cars, adjusting their equipment and talking loudly. Seokjin couldn’t help but grin as he saw the looks of pure excitement on their faces.  
It was not everyday they could go on such a big operation, sure, they went “hunting” (as they called when they went chasing after criminals) a lot but, when stuff got heavier like today, a flagrant, they needed some extra support.  
With everything ready, they took off, sirens loud between the streets of Seoul.

\- Damn, he’s so fucking hot - Hoseok said for what seemed like the twentieth time since they arrived at the club.

They received some clues as to where their it man used to frequent in the north area, one of the places being a very hidden and certainly illegal strip club situated in a dirty alley, the front being just a huge metal door with a red neon light that spelled “Go Go bar”.

They arrived not ten minutes ago but Hoseok couldn’t stop staring at a certain stripper. 

A boy with grey messy hair danced sensually against a pole. He wore a crop top with the words “Piping hot”, an extremely short pair of jeans shorts that did very little to hide his butt cheeks, complete with sheer pantyhose and garter belts adorning his thick tights and a pair of black leather boots.

He was indeed very beautiful, his golden skin reflecting the club lights and his absurdly red lips being sensually bitten while he danced against the metal pole.

\- We know hyung, fuck, you said it a million times already, we got it! Jesus - Jimin exclaimed from his stool. All of them laid side by side, drinks on their hands as to not get anyone suspicious of the group.  
\- He really is fucking hot, damn, I’d love to beat that ass - Yoongi murmured mostly to himself, earning a warning growl from Hoseok.  
\- I saw him first you asshole, get your eyes off of him - the black haired man said, punching Yoongi’s arm.  
\- He’s actually not for sale you know? I bet he would fucking punch you in the face if you even tried to get close to him - Jimin rolled his eyes.  
\- I know Jimin-ah, just having fun. Besides, looking doesn’t do any harm, does it? - Yoongi asked grinning and Jimin just sighed.  
\- Well, if you like it so much, why don’t you put a dollar in his thigh highs? - Namjoon mocked but regretted it as soon as the words came out of his mouth because Hoseok took thirty won out of his jeans pocket and Namjoon had to facepalm himself.  
\- Really? - Jimin said, chocked, and Yoongi elbowed Hoseok, laughing.  
\- Well, I know we’re at a mission here - Hoseok whispered, standing up - but I’d love to at least have some fun. We’re at a strip club, for fucks sake - the man rolled his eyes and started walking towards the stage where the boy kept dancing.

Several girls flipped their hair and batted their eyelashes in Hoseok’s direction, their boobs bouncing almost out of the teeny tiny lace bras, but the man paid them no mind. They seemed kind of offended but, hey, it was not his fault he loved dick so much.

When he reached the border of the stage, he propped both of his arms in the wood surface, whistling to get the man’s attention.

The grey haired boy looked down, holding onto the metal pole and grinned when he saw the bills on Hoseok’s hand, the man shooting him a side smile.

Sliding against the pole, the stripper propped himself on all fours, walking towards Hoseok with a predatory look in his eyes, biting his bottom lip and Hoseok had to shut his mouth to make sure there was no drool running down his chin.

\- Hey baby - the stripper greeted as he was close enough to the black haired man who swallowed visibly.

\- Hey - Hoseok responded, making sure his voice got lower and seductive - what a pretty little thing like you is doing in a place like this? - he asked over the music.  
\- Having fun - the man said reaching out to touch Hoseok’s shoulders with his big hands moving them down the man’s arm, narrowing his eyes. Hoseok loved the way they were lined black and smudged at the corners just right - and making money - he snatched the money from Hoseok’s hand an tucking it in his jeans pocket - what a pretty little thing like you is doing in a place like this should be the question - the man mocked an Hoseok laughed.  
\- Well, I’m certainly having fun - He told the stripper - well, what you say we get the fuck out of here and go somewhere better like, let’s say… My bed? - Hoseok suggested, earning a boxy grin from the stripper.  
\- Well, ‘d very much love it, but, unfortunately I have to work now, pretty boy - the stripper said getting up and slowly walking backwards swaying his hips teasingly and Hoseok pouted.  
\- Wait! Can I at least know your name? Maybe when you’re not busy we can have some fun in private - Hoseok said wiggling his eyebrows and the grey haired man giggled.  
\- Call me V - he told Hoseok - I’m free on Thursdays, by the way - he said while walking back to the stage to resume his show, his ass peeking from where the shorts didn’t cover the skin.  
Hoseok felt his dick stir in his pants just by the thought of having the boy all to himself. Fuck, he wanted to touch that little ass and see if it was so soft as it looked.  
\- Well, how did it go, Romeo? - Namjoon mocked as he got back, smiling stupidly.  
\- You’ll be very happy to know that he’s already eating off of my hands - Hoseok said sticking his tongue out to the others that laughed loudly.  
\- Very nice Seok-ah - Yoongi said but his attention was snatched to the very back of the bar where two in man dressed in suits talked in a discrete way - hey, Joon, that’s the guy, right? - Yoongi elbowed Namjoon, pointing de duo with his chin but looking away.  
\- Shit, that’s him - Namjoon immediately recognized the man sitting in a red velvet chaise, a very skinny blonde boy sitting in his lap while he talked with another man, this one wearing a black hat that covered most of his face.  
\- What do we do now? - Jimin whispered to Namjoon.  
\- We go to try to approach without him noticing - Namjoon answered - Hoseok, Yoongi, did you get the stuff? - he asked. “stuff” meant the guns, obviously and Hoseok sent him a side grin, nodding, patting his side where surely there were two revolvers.  
\- Ok, so, we can ask him if we could buy some drugs from him and then… Wait, do you hear that? - Jimin asked, listening to something like a low whistle. Something like…  
\- The police! Shut everything down, stop the music! - A woman screamed as the obvious sound of police car sirens got louder. Immediately, the man sitting on the chaise practically threw the blonde boy on the floor and stood up, walking fast towards the emergency exit with the man-in-a-hat glued to his heels.

\- Shit - Namjoon cursed as the whole club collapsed, the strippers gathering the money on the floor to shove it in their pockets, costumers running fast towards the exit and employers throwing all they could manage inside huge plastic bags, from alcohol to tiny bags of cocaine.  
\- Fuck, let’s get the fuck out of here! - Yoongi said loudly.  
\- Fucking fuck we were so damn close this time! - Namjoon cursed again, making his way fast towards the exit, followed by Hoseok, Jimin and Yoongi, only to find that the back door was locked - the fuck? - he punched the door but it seemed stuck in place.  
\- What the hell? - Yoongi said, trying the other one, verifying that that one, too, was locked - someone locked them from outside! - he screamed in mild panic.  
\- But why the fuck… - Jimin started but then everything fell into place - The fucker set this up! Fuck he…He knew he was being followed and locked us here to get rid of us! - Jimin said, his eyes open to the max.  
\- Holy fucking shit - Hoseok gritted his teeth and Namjoon froze.

At this point the bar was already looking like satan’s living room: people running fast back and forth, trying to find a way out only to find that the doors were locked and panicking, looking for some place to hide or jump from, costumers and employers mixing together in a rush of despair, panic rushing through the place as the sirens got impossibly loud, the sound of cars pulling up in the parking lot.

The thing was, if the police entered the place they were certainly all getting arrested, no exceptions. 

\- Fuck we… We need to get out! - Jimin tried to kick the door but it was no use, the thing was solid.  
Namjoon was just in such a state of panic that he almost forgot about the masks they always carried in case of emergencies.  
\- Put on your masks, the least we can do is to try and slow the process down - he said and quickly all of them had the black fabric covering their faces.  
Namjoon had just rolled his own mask on top of his features when the front metal door opened with the kick of a police officer.  
\- Everyone, hands where I can see them! - the man screamed, pointing a gun towards the crowd as two more man appeared from behind him - The building is surrounded so don’t try anything stupid - he screamed again.

Even as he had his back to the door, Namjoon felt himself shiver because fuck he knew that voice too well to be mistaken.

\- Listen up everybody, this is going to be very simple - Seokjin’s voice echoed through the silent room - me and my boys are going to inspect each and everyone of you now. Then, you’re all going to be taken to the district, under arrest for frequenting an illegal establishment, then we can start to look out for even more evidence of what kind of stuff you are hiding, which I’m sure it´s a lot, so that we can add to the years you will rotten your asses in jail, is that clear? - the man asked in a mocking manner and Namjoon could see Jimin, Yoongi and Hoseok swallow and shudder - Since no one seems to have anything against that, we’re starting now - he finished taking a step forward inside the club.  
Namjoon had his hands up in the air, not daring to move, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down.  
\- Why don’t we start with you? Interesting hoodies - seokjin’s voice rumbled through Namjoon’s ears and he could feel himself slowly lose control and give in to panic as he heard the man’s footsteps getting closer to his group.  
Seokjin circled Jimin first, then Yoongi and Hoseok, laughing softly as he took in the display of the scene.  
\- Hiding something, guys? Aw, there’s no need in being so shy - Seokjin walked over to where Namjoon was, standing right in front of him and curling a hand in the man’s mask, Namjoon closing his eyes tight, panic flowing freely through his veins now, so much he shuddered - let me see your face you fucking… - but he stopped in his tracks as he took in the sight of the man’s eyes as Namjoon opened them.

He stopped because he knew those eyes, knew them too damn well.

\- Boss? - Young Jae asked after some seconds of one man staring at the other, their minds exploding with a thousand thoughts, the main one being “Oh God please, no”.

Then something clinked against the floor and Namjoon barely had time to turn his head to look for the source of the sound when a grenade went off followed quickly by another one, all people in the building collapsing to the ground with loud screams, covering their heads with their hands, Seokjin falling on top of Namjoon.  
Gunshots went off as well as the cops got scared with the distraction, a loud pained mewl followed by a hiss could be heard.

Lots of smoke surrounded the club now, making everyone gasp and try to find their way back up. A distraction.

Namjoon pushed Seokjin’s body out of the way, standing up in the middle of the frantic screaming as more gunshots were fired.

\- Let’s get the fuck out! - Jimin screamed through the noise, standing up and dragging Yoongi out with him, the other man’s leg bleeding through his jeans.  
\- Wait! Wait Jimin, the building is surrounded! - Yoongi screamed back, hissing at the pain, but then Hoseok was already running towards the other corner.  
\- I have a plan! Wait just a little more, do you have any more of those? Buy me some time! - Hoseok screamed and Jimin reached inside his coat to retrieve another grenade and pull the safety valve out with his teeth before throwing it against the floor, another explosion following and more screams and smoke filled the room.  
\- Fucking stop! I’ll shoot all of you, shut up and stop! - Jae Bum screamed aiming his gun in a confused way, trying to stop the running people that were more in panic about the bombs than being arrested. They were instructed to never shot in a dangerous situation where they couldn’t see well and that made the cop furious because he wanted nothing more than to fucking shoot everyone in the building.  
\- Let’s go! - Hoseok came back carrying the grey haired stripper in his arms, a bandana around the boy’s mouth and a gun pointed directly at his temple, the man looking terrified.  
\- Hoseok what the fuck? - Namjoon screamed reaching for protection behind the bar with the others as more cops entered the building.  
\- Trust me! Please, this is our only chance - Hoseok gasped, his arms circling the smaller man’s, pressing him against his own chest while the stripper violently tried to escape his tight hold. Namjoon was panicking and he couldn’t think straight, his head spinning.  
\- Ok, fuck, let’s go - Namjoon said and Hoseok sighed, getting up and dragging the boy with him.  
Immediately, all the cops pointed their guns at him but Hoseok just grinned, fucking actor that he was.  
\- Listen cops, we don’t want any trouble, ok? If you don’t fucking let us through, we’ll shoot this boy’s brains out, is that clear? - he imitated Seokjin’s voice and the stripper’s eyes watered, some tears leaking to soak his cheeks.  
The cops didn’t move and Hoseok took that as his cue to start slowly moving with the others behind him.  
\- That’s it little officers, let us through and nothing happens to this little slut - he growled, dragging the boy out the door as the cops lowered their guns, their faces completely blank and desperate.

Namjoon, although relieved, couldn’t understand why they didn’t try anything to stop them but then his eyes trailed through the mess of the bar until they fell upon Seokjin’s body, laying still, unconscious, his cheek pressed against the cold floor.

His body froze at the very exit, his eyes googling out of his head, his heart skipping a beat.

The cops couldn’t do anything if Seokjin didn’t order them, especially if that meant they had to shoot someone, but their boss was lying unconscious so they seemed completely lost and, even as namjoon was relieved that they were sure going to escape, he couldn’t ignore the sharp pain in his chest.  
He didn’t know what happened, didn’t know if Seokjin was alive, dead, just unconscious, injuried… he couldn’t stop the feeling of complete desperation, wanting to curl against the man and help him.

\- C’mon! what are you fucking waiting for? - Jimin hissed against his ear, still holding Yoongi up and struggling to tug at his sleeve.  
Namjoon threw one last glance at Seokjin’s frozen body and started walking again, trying very hard not to show any signs of the feeling of tightness wrapping around his chest and tears prickling behind his eyes.

The group slowly went towards their black van, Hoseok still holding the stripper and making sure everyone got inside before he threw the man by his side at the passenger’s seat and started the car, quickly driving away, tires screeching against the pavement.

\- Fuck - Jimin said, threading his fingers between his hair - that was… Fuck Hyung, that was amazing - he breathed out, breathless.  
\- acting skills - Hoseok retorted with a grin.  
\- WHAT THE FUCK? LET ME OUT YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS! - the stripper, now with his arms free, was able to take the bandana off and now screamed in panic, his eyes watery and his hands punching the door.  
\- Hey, HEY! You’re going to fucking ruin the painting! Calm down! - Hoseok tried his best but the man just slammed the door harder - CALM THE FUCK DOWN! - he screamed again, trying to maintain focus on driving and Jimin secured the man’s arms from behind him to still him.  
\- W-what do you want from m-me? P-please I have money b-but please don’t hurt m-me! - the stripper now cried, his shoulders slumped over his body as Jimin held his arms in a tight grasp.  
\- Calm down, we’re not thieves and we are not going to hurt you, okay? Please don’t cry - Hoseok said to the man very calmly, his voice soothing.  
\- Then w-what do you want? - the stripper looked up to Hoseok, his hiccups stilling a bit although tears still flooded his pretty eyes and Hoseok felt like shit for scaring the man that way.  
\- Listen, it’s complicated but, we just needed a way of getting out of there without getting arrested and I promise we’ll not hurt you ok? - Hoseok said trying his best to sound calm and reassuring - we will drop you off once we can stop but first we need to make sure no one is following us, ok? - Hoseok thought he sounded really convincing and the man stopped sobbing in favor of just sigh and close his eyes burying his face in his hands, his body going limp in the passenger seat.  
\- Fuck, Yoon - Jimin let go of the stripper’s arms to get back to Yoongi who was on the verge of unconsciousness and bled a lot - we got to do something - Jimin pleaded.  
\- Fuck, I don’t know what we can do, certainly no go to the hospital… - Hoseok carded a hand through his hair - Joon, what do we do? Joon? Are you ok?- Hoseok asked, catching the man’s look from the rear view mirror.  
\- Uh? Oh, yeah, yeah, shit um… - Namjoon woke up from his daze, his eyes focusing again and his brows furrowed - take us back to the apartment, we will help him there, fuck, Jimin, wrap this around his leg, try to stop the bleeding - Namjoon ripped a sleeve from his shirt and handed it to Jimin.  
\- Ok… Is everything fine Joon? Are you injured? - Hoseok asked again but Namjoon just shook his head.  
\- Just thinking - he answered with a fake smile just to go back to think what the fuck happened to Seokjin, lump in his throat forming quickly again.  
He couldn’t stop replaying the scene of Seokjin’s body lying on the floor from his mind. He wanted nothing more than to go back and help him, make sure he was alright and fuck just…

He wanted to hug him, kiss him and say he was sorry a milon tmes until the words became meaningless.

He held his tears once again, his mind going fuzzy at the thoughts as his body trembled with fear.

Yoongi was laying on the couch sleeping, his leg was wrapped up in bandages after Namjoon spent what seemed like eternity trying to take the bullet out of the flesh, finally doing so by sterilizing a cooking knife and digging through to take the metal out.

It looked horrible, it seemed to hurt a fuck ton and Yoongi held on pretty good after giving out again, his eyes shutting closed.

\- Fuck, he needs a doctor hyung - Jimin said from the couch where he had Yoongi’s head resting in his lap, his chubby fingers massaging his scalp.

\- I know, I know, just… I think I know someone that can help, I’ll call her as soon as we resolve this problem - Namjoon sighed staring at the stripper that went completely mute and refused to talk since their little car trip.  
\- I tried Joon, but he just won’t talk! - Hoseok exclaimed, exasperated and restless with the thought of fucking the boy’s mind up for good.  
\- Please, can you at least tell us your name? please, we need to know some things so we can help you and us. Please? - Namjoon pleaded, kneeling in front of the man that sat on a chair, his hands fidgeting with his now ripped sheer stockings.  
He looked up to face Namjoon, his face contorted in fear and he shot a quick glance towards Hoseok before he spoke.  
\- T-Taehyung - he said, his voice no louder than a whisper.  
\- Great - Namjoon managed a smile - we’re very sorry for what happened Taehyung, but we really needed to get out of there - he said and Taehyung nodded, still confused why they couldn’t let him go already.  
\- Listen, you had something on the club? Documents or something like that? - Hoseok asked.  
Taehyung nodded slowly, his eyes watering again.  
\- Fuck - Jimin cursed rubbing his face - They will find it and search for us - he said and Hoseok threw his cup of water in the sink, the glass shattering and startling the others.  
\- Fuck I’m sorry I just… I needed to do something! I’m so fucking stupid, fuck - Hoseok said angry with himself, feeling dumb.  
\- I’m sorry hyung, I didn’t mean it like that, don’t be so hard on yourself, we would be arrested by now if you didn’t do that and, well, it’s not like we’re not already in trouble with the police - Jimin said very calmly, still petting Yoongi’s hair.  
\- Ok, we just got to stay calm ok? We will find a way out of this - Namjoon reassured - Taehyung, you need to trust us ok? You will be staying with us for some time - Namjoon said and the boy seemed shocked.  
\- W-what? Why? - the grey haired man asked in disbelief.  
\- Well, if we just let you go the cops will find you, trust me, and if they don’t arrest you first for prostitution, they’ll make you speak and you already know our faces and names, probably at this point - Namjoon explained and sighed - It’s nothing personal but you can’t leave - he completed.  
\- N-no! Please I need t-to get back home, p-please you don’t understand! -Taehyung started to sob again, getting up from his seat, coaxing Namjoon to stand up as well.  
\- Please don’t cry, you need to stay calm, otherwise you’ll make everything harder - Namjoon said - we will make sure you stay ok, I know we barely met but I promise we’re not doing you any harm. If there’s anything we can do to make you feel better while you’re here we will do what’s possible ok? - Namjoon tried so hard to seem friendly but the situation asked him to be smart, so he tried to give something in exchange.

But nothing could prepare him for what the boy asked in condition.

\- Please just…M-my brother, p-please he’s young and I can’t leave him alone, he needs me, please just… make sure he’s safe, let me stay with him, bring him here please, that’s the only thing I ask - Taehyung pleaded, falling back against the chair - please I beg you - he pleaded, tears in his eyes and Namjoon sighed again, harder.

Perfect, that was just what they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo that's it!  
> I'm not extremely proud of how this turned out but I guess I kinda like it, it's an important chapter because it introduces TaeTae! I bet you already know who his brother is right? hehehe  
> so what do you think? Do you like it? PLEASE let me know! as usual, comments really excite and inspire me to keep writing this story that is already dear do my heart!   
> Also, english is not my first language and this is not proof read so let me know if I made some ridiculous mistake!  
> If you like it please don't forget to leave kudos! it's really important to me!  
> (J) Hope you guys like it! see you next chapter!


	3. Please don't say it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey babies, I'm back! THANK U SO MUCH FOR YOUR KUDDOS AND COMMENTS! I really appreciate those! I hope you like this chapter! See ya at the end notes! please don't forget to read it!

\- He’ll be fine Joon, just make sure He gets plenty of rest ok? - Sooyoung said, getting up from the bed where Yoongi was peacefully sleeping and softly sedated, his leg now properly bandaged and stitched.  
\- Thanks Sooyoung, again, I’m sorry about interrupting your trip, but you’re the only one I could trust to do this kind of stuff - Namjoon offered the woman a weak smile and she returned the act.  
\- Relax Joon, it’s no trouble at all baby, and you know I would be very mad if you got any other bitch to do this - she laughed and Namjoon rubbed his faze, laughing as well.  
She started to pack her stuff, cleaning the mess of bloodied cotton balls and the now blood red sleeve of Namjoon’s shirt.  
\- Is everything okay? - She asked once she took in the appearance of the man. Namjoon shrugged.  
\- As good as I can be right now - he answered but the woman frowned at him, sitting beside him on the couch in Yoongi’s room.  
\- We’ve known each other for a long time gangster boy, spit it out - She said and Namjoon just moaned in frustration - It’s about your cop boyfriend man? - She asked lying a hand on top of his thigh.

Namjoon kept quiet for some seconds but gave up the silence. Sooyoung knew him too well for too long and was the only one that actually knew about his love affair with Seokjin. Namjoon decided to tell her because, well, one she was a doctor and two she didn’t represent a threat since she was not participant of the same, let’s say, lifestyle that Namjoon did.

They met each other back in school and after she discovered what Namjoon did for a living (in a rather awkward situation where she caught him spying in the same building she lived in) she didn’t try to deliver his ass to the police, she didn’t scream or fought him, she fucking invited him in for some tea so they could, in her own words, “get updated on the news”.

She didn’t jugde him because she had a philosophy that people, don’t matter what they did for a living, didn’t determine their personality so, she kept it a secret and stood by him whenever he needed her.

\- He’s not my boyfriend - Namjoon rolled his eyes in exasperation.  
\- You sure wish he were though - she retorted and Namjoon snorted without humor.  
\- Not all of our wishes can become true, right? - He said with his voice sad.  
\- Joon, what happened this time? - She asked, tone changing to one softer.  
\- It’s just… It was him! He found us and…And he was right there and he saw me, I swear he recognized me even though I was wearing a fucking mask - Namjoon tripped over his words - I saw the look on his face and… God, he looked so fucking disappointed - Namjoon wanted to cry, he wanted to punch the wall, and he wanted to throw himself and his stupid feelings out the window.  
\- Baby, calm down - Sooyoung patted his back, scooting closer to Namjoon - he knows ok? He knows who you are but he still comes back, doesn’t he? So don’t let yourself feel like that, I know it’s complicated but he knows - She said matter of fatly.  
\- He may not come back this time… I don’t even know if he’s alive for fuck’s sake… He was just lying there, I don’t know if he’s okay - Namjoon felt his throat tighten at the thought of Seokjin dead.  
\- What the fuck happened yesterday? - Sooyoung asked, her eyes opening fully.  
Namjoon proceeded to tell her about the whole situation involving Seokjin falling on top of him in the middle of clouds of smoke and despair.  
\- Okay but, I’m sure he just needs to rest okay? It just seems to me like he panicked and fainted or something - she said after some seconds thinking.  
\- But what if he’s dead? What if I killed him? He was surely taken to the hospital because he was unconscious, that I know but… God, what if he’s fucked up forever? - Namjoon said starting to panic again.  
\- Namjoon, I didn’t study eight fucking years of medicine school to lie to you okay? Relax - Sooyoung said but Namjoon couldn’t relax.  
\- I don’t know… I hate this - Namjoon responded and he wasn’t really sure what he hated, if it was the fact that he had feelings for someone he couldn’t, if it was because of the impossibility of contact between them (cell phones were completely out of question, too dangerous and easy to track) or if it was because of the whole situation, really.  
\- Okay, you know what? I have an idea - the woman got up to fish her phone from her purse. She dialed a number and Namjoon just stood there, confused and curious while she waited for the phone to be answered - Hello? Oh thank God! I thought you’d never pick up! - She said in a theatrical way, putting on a show of acting and Namjoon couldn’t stop a little smile - I need to know where Officer Kim is! - she said and Namjoon’s face dropped, desperation coating his expression as he stood up and followed her through the room trying to catch the phone - I’m his cousin! Officer please, I need to know if he’s okay! My mom, his aunt, didn’t want to tell me but I need to see my beloved cousin! Please - She said in a voice so convincing, fake crying, that Namjoon wouldn’t believe she was lying if he couldn’t see her face - oh thank you so much! Thank you, thank you! - She said while finishing the call.  
\- What the fuck? - Namjoon said panicking, his voice low as to not disturb Yoongi or the other outside the room. He couldn’t risk them hearing anything.  
\- Well, he’s in this address, this room. And Alive. - the woman said writing down something in a tiny piece of paper and handing it to him - go and see if he’s okay by himself - she said with a smile and Namjoon wanted to fucking laugh and punch her in the face.  
\- Oh, that’s an amazing idea Sooyoung! So, what? I’m just going to go around the hospital that must be full of cops and go see him with a bouquet of flowers in hands? - he asked, disbelief written all over his desperate features, although his heart settled a little bit just by knowing Seokjin was alive.  
\- Well Joon, first, I know you’re not stupid. Not always though. Second, I know you too well to know that you can bust through any window - she said winking while she gathered her stuff and stood at the door.

Namjoon couldn’t actually believe what she was proposing him.

\- You’re too good to suffer like this baby - she said smiling fondly at him - fix this. I know you can - she blew him a kiss and left the room.  
Namjoon just stood in the middle of the room, piece of paper in hands surrounded only by Yoongi’s soft snoring.

\- So, did he say something? - Jimin asked Hoseok as the black haired man left his room, where Taehyung was holed up since yesterday.  
\- No - he answered, sighing - he is refusing to eat as well, I don’t know what to do Jimin-ah - Hoseok rubbed his tired eyes.  
\- He wants his brother hyung, he told us. Stay calm, hyung - Jimin patted his shoulder.  
\- What are we going to do about this? Fuck, this was a bad idea - Hoseok cried throwing himself on the couch and rubbing his eyes, his regrets kicking in.  
\- Seok, please, you saved us for fuck’s sake, we will find a way, okay? - Namjoon said from the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in hands while he thought about their current state.  
They needed to make Taehyung trust them, at least enough to eat so they didn’t need to deal with case malnutrition, they didn’t need that at all. They had to make sure his brother was okay and bring him home with them, they needed to make sure everything was safe and okay because if they didn’t, the police was going to go after them. They probably were already.  
\- I’m going to talk to him, we need to know where he lives so he can get his brother… Shit, this is going to be a nightmare - Jimin sighed  
\- Please do Jiminnie, we gotta do this today, I’m afraid they already found the boy… - Namjoon sipped his coffee and Hoseok felt like killing himself.  
Jimin walked through the apartment, reaching for Hoseok’s room door and knocking before he entered.  
\- Taehyung? Can I come in? - Jimin asked softly.  
Taehyung was sitting on the floor, knees bent against his chest, hands fidgeting with the hem of his shorts. He snapped his head in Jimin’s direction, his expression softening quickly. He was very jumpy and scared looking.  
\- Hey, how are you feeling? - Jimin asked, closing the door behind him. As soon as Taehyung heard the “click” of the door he widened his eyes, looking more scared. Jimin immediately opened the door again - don’t be scared. Here, I’ll leave this open, okay? - Taehyung seemed to relax a bit and Jimin sighed in relief.  
The man had stayed the whole night inside Hoseok’s room, refusing to take a bath, change his clothes and even eat, he didn’t sleep, so heavy dark circles were adorning his beautiful eyes. He wouldn’t stop crying even as Namjoon promised they would find his brother. He seemed calmer after some hours but he kept his mouth shut and his eyes well open.  
\- So, how are you feeling? - Jimin asked sitting on the floor in front of Taehyung, keeping a safe distance, but still close.  
Taehyung didn’t answer, just stared to the floor.  
\- You need to eat okay? You need to sleep a little bit and also change your clothes - Jimin reached to touch the boy’s thigh but he flinched - listen, I’m sorry okay? We’re all sorry to make you stay here but you have to help us help you. You need to tell us where your brother is - as Jimin mentioned his brother, Taehyung lifted his head, eyes wide open. Bingo.  
\- Is he in danger? - Taehyung asked in a voice no louder than a whisper and Jimin felt relieved that he was talking again.  
\- No, not yet, but he will be if you don’t help us - Jimin said calmly and Taehyung sighed, rubbing his hands against his face, smudging his eyeliner even more.  
\- He’s… Please I’ll tell you everything but I need him to be safe - the grey haired said and Jimin nodded.  
\- I promise that as long as you guys stay with us you’re both as safe as you will ever be. I swear - Jimin raised his hand in a sign of his promise and that seemed to do the trick for Taehyung - can you write the address that he’s in please? - Jimin took a notepad and a pen from the drawer and handed to Taehyung.  
\- He’s in school, probably… I hope he is at least, it’s a full time school, so he gets home only at night - Taehyung said, writing the address on the piece of paper.  
\- Is he underage? - Jimin asked because he remembered Taehyung sobbing something about him being young, but, God, he sure wished they didn’t need to deal with a baby.  
\- Yes - damn it. Fucking damn it - He’s sixteen, going into seventeen next month - Jimin sighed in relief, at least he wasn’t a preschooler or some bullshit.  
\- He probably is missing you - Jimin said and Taehyung laughed a little bit, humorless.  
\- I don’t think so. I was going to work all night and probably just get home in the afternoon so he would only see me at night anyways. But I doubt he misses me - Taehyung handed Jimin the piece of paper looking back to the floor.  
\- I doubt it though, you seem like a really nice brother - Jimin said with a smile and Taehyung returned it, JImin feeling happy by seeing that the boy was finally warming up to them. Well, at least to him.  
\- Yeah, I try my best - Taehyung said, almost more to himself and Jimin preferred not to push the subject just now.  
\- I think the others will be very happy! Let’s go get your baby brother - Jimin said with a smile, standing up and letting offering his hand.  
Taehyung bit his bottom lip, reaching for it.  
\- So, this is the plan - Jimin said packing some things in Hoseok’s backpack - You are going to wait for him outside of the house, don’t even think about breaking into the house - Jimin raised an eyebrow to him.  
\- Jimin-ah, you’re no fun - Hoseok joked but quickly straightened his face when he took in Namjoon’s warning expression, nodding towards Taehyung - Yeah, of course not - he corrected himself.  
\- Okay, you’re all set! Chop chop - Jimin handed him his backpack and Hoseok placed it in his back waving goodbye at them but Taehyung stopped him when he was reaching for the door.  
\- Wait! - all of them looked at the grey haired boy - I… I want to go as well - Taehyung said and Namjoon growled.  
\- No way. This is too dangerous and we can’t take any risks now - Namjoon said with a tight voice.  
\- I’m going to make sure he gets here safe before nine - Hoseok said with a soft smile and Taehyung rolled his eyes.  
\- Oh, yeah? And how exactly are you going to do that? Holding him at gunpoint like me or are you going to offer him some chocolate? - Taehyung raised one eyebrow at Hoseok that blushed immediately at his comment and bit his lip in embarrassment.  
\- Hey, Taehyung, listen… - Jimin tried to say something but Namjoon sighed.  
\- Let him go - the man said simply as Jimin and Hoseok looked at him in disbelief.  
\- What? Are you serious right now? Am I supposed to take this kid in a mission with me? - Hoseok said and Taehyung made a protest sound.  
\- Excuse me? I’m not a kid and I’m pretty sure I can beat your ass anytime - Taehyung said, defying Hoseok while he crossed his arms and Namjoon and Jimin just exclaimed their usual “whoooooooo”. Good thing Yoongi was not awake because he would be the first one to mock Hoseok.  
\- I told you he was badass - Jimin said winking at Taehyung that blushed a little bit.  
\- Okay, okay, got it - Hoseok threw his hands up in surrender - let’s go kiddo - he sighed and Taehyung stuffed his chest while walking towards the door with him. “He’s so freaking cute. Fuck” Hoseok thought biting his lip.  
\- Be safe - Namjoon waved to Hoseok.  
As soon as Taehyung and Hoseok closed the door Namjoon turned to Jimin.  
\- Jimin-ah, Can you please stay with hyung for a little while? I really need to make sure our security is okay, that son of a bitch almost got us arrested and I need to make sure that he doesn’t know anything more about us - Namjoon said and Jimin nodded.  
\- Sure hyung, I wouldn’t leave him anyways - Jimin said and Namjoon couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face.  
\- You really should tell him Jimin-ah, you two make a pretty cute couple if you ask me - Namjoon said and Jimin blushed red.  
\- Hyung, you know how Yoongi-ah is… He just… It’s better to stay like this - Jimin scratched the back of his neck, looking down.  
\- Hyung just seems though; you know he’s a softie inside. I trust you to do the right thing though - Namjoon said giving Jimin a quick hug - okay, I’m leaving okay? I’ll be back in four hours or so. If you need anything just call me on my radio, okay? - Namjoon said and when Jimin nodded, giving him that cute eyesmile. Namjoon winked and, retrieving his bag, left the apartment.

Well, maybe the term “apartment” was not the best to describe their little residence. 

The four of them lived in an old building far away from the city center, away from business but mostly, away from the police.

The building was one of those short old-people-living building with huge apartments, each one complete with a balcony.

The building was mostly full of old grandmas and grandpas who didn’t left the house too much, the old woman living on the apartment right above theirs insisting in giving them a full homemade lasagna every Sunday because “you’re all some cute skinny kids that need to eat”.

Their house was separated in two huge bedrooms, one bathroom, and living room complete with American style kitchen.

They reconstructed everything so it was nice and modern, so it was cozier. Having money definitely was worth it.

Namjoon got out of the building waving good evening to an old man at the door, going straight to the garage to retrieve his puppy.

You could say a person like him would be discrete but he just couldn’t resist getting his precious baby, besides, who in their right mind would stop someone driving a yellow Camaro? It was so ridiculously expensive and flashy that no one would distrust it.

Starting the engines Namjoon took off to the address inked on Sooyoung’s handwriting.

The hospital was situated close to the police district which scared Namjoon just a little bit.

Parking his car in the alley in the back of the hospital, Namjoon got his bag and contemplated his options.

The building was modern so there were no fire exit stairs, just windows and the door at the front.

Seokjin was at the room four hundred and six, which meant it was probably the fourth floor.

Making sure that the alley was empty, Namjoon fumbled with his bag. This part of the job never ceased to amaze him.

He felt like a spy, really, like James Bond or something, just like the movies he watched when he was a kid.

The hook took off, landing in parapet of the window just above his head, and Namjoon made sure it was nice and secure before he tied the rope in his belt and positioned his feet against the brick wall.

“Here we go James Bond”.

He started to climb the wall like de badass he was (actually, it was pretty fucking creepy but, yeah, he preferred to think it was cool) and stopped once he reached the first floor. He ground his feet in the parapet and launched the hook again. 

Luckily, most of the windows were closed so he had no trouble climbing like a freak until he reached the fourth floor.

Some would say it wasn’t that high but, fun fact; Namjoon was absolutely terrified of heights, so he focused on not looking down.

Namjoon found himself staring at the window to a little broom closet, he opened the it just enough so he could slip inside (getting caught climbing on a wall was definitely not how he wanted his day to end).

He entered the room, putting his equipment away and stepping silently inside the small place. He peered outside the closet to find himself in a long corridor, mostly empty save for the small station where a sleepy nurse scrolled through his phone.

Great.

He moved swiftly through the corridor, making sure that the nurse didn’t see him (which was pretty ease since he seemed to be watching TV) and searched for the room Seokjin was in.

He finally found room four hundred and six, at the end of the long clear corridor.

Namjoon peered inside the door that had a little gap open and looked for Seokjin, hoping to find him fast asleep on the bed, covered in all sorts of appendages and tubes.  
The man was, in fact, nowhere to be found.

Namjoon frowned and slid inside, without much noise.

The room was kind of small, just the bed, a chair and a bathroom.

Namjoon almost choked on his own breath when a voice came from behind him.

\- What the fuck? - Seokjin said closing the door quickly behind himself.

The man wore grey sweatpants and a loose white tee that was slightly too baggy for him.

Although he seemed nervous, Namjoon felt himself relieved at the sight of Seokjin walking and fine.

\- Hey - Namjoon said stupidly, awkwardly standing in the middle of the room.  
\- What are you doing here? What the fuck Namjoon? - the older whispered his name and Namjoon laughed at that.  
\- Scared? C’mon, you really thought that I wouldn’t visit you? - Namjoon joked, throwing himself against the chair, trying his very best to seem cool even as his breath caught in his throat at the sight of Seokjin so beautifully sleepy and cozy in his pajamas.  
\- Namjoon, this is not a joke okay? Fuck, what if… How in the worls did you enter the hospital? - Seokjin asked suddenly.  
\- Well, I’m smart - Namjoon winked and Seokjin rolled his eyes.  
\- I’m sure you are - the elder answered.  
\- How are you feeling? - Namjoon asked finally.  
\- Well, I guess okay. My leg got a little injured from the explosion but, yeah, I’m fine, should be leaving today - the officer said, sitting on his bed.  
They fell into a heavy silence, both not wanting to touch the subject of the club.  
\- Did you really recognized me? Yesterday, I mean - Namjoon asked, needing to know if it was true, if Seokjin really recognized the man just from his eyes alone.  
\- Namjoon, please… - Seokjin sighed.  
\- Please just tell me, I need to know! - the younger said in a voice much less cool.

Seokjin kept quiet for some seconds, staring at his own hands.

\- Of course I did. But you already knew that - the officer said and Namjoon released a breath he didn’t knew he was holding - listen I… This is a mistake - he said suddenly and Namjoon froze at that.  
\- What are you talking about? - Namjoon asked, knowing very well what the other man was saying.  
\- This! The way we keep pretending that this… weird thing between us is good…Pretending that is something real - Seokjin said and Namjoon felt his throat tighten.  
They never talked about their, let’s say, relationship. It was something that they both silently agreed on just ignoring, but Seokjin was tired. He knew Namjoon did return his…Feelings, but, it was becoming too dangerous and episodes like the one the day before couldn’t keep happening because luck wasn’t going to be on their side every time.  
\- This weird thing? - Namjoon felt the sting the words caused on his mind.  
\- Yeah Namjoon, the way that things are going I… I just…I can’t keep up with it. It is far too dangerous. For both of us - Seokjin carded a hand through his own hair.  
Namjoon still couldn’t believe his words.  
\- Pretending that is real? - he repeated - What are you trying to say? - Namjoon could feel his chest constrict with every syllable he spoke.  
\- It isn’t real! We just pretend that what we have is okay but is not! We can’t… We can’t be together and you know it - Seokjing tried arguing.  
It hurt him. It hurt like a motherfucker because there was nothing he wanted more than to just make it real, make it official.

He wanted to have Namjoon and not feel like he was betraying his own cause by doing it. He wanted to have Namjoon and not feel like he was putting both their lives in risk. He wanted Namjoon, and nothing more.

\- It is real! - Namjoon half shouted - You… You know how I feel and I know that is complicated but… - Namjoon was interrupted.  
\- Complicated? Namjoon, wake up! This is not a fairytale, we could both be fucking dead by now and you know it! - Seokjin tried to keep his voice at bay but he wanted to scream, wanted to let it all out.  
\- I don’t fucking care! - Namjoon was standing now - I don’t fucking care because it was always worth it to me! I’d die for you in a heartbeat - the last part was almost whispered and Namjoon could feel the weight of the words against his tongue.  
\- Don’t say this - Seokjin said, breathless and feeling like his heart dropped to his stomach because yes, he knew that was true and, yes, he would do the same for Namjoon.  
It was crazy really, how fast they connected, it was something almost supernatural because they shared such a strong bond that their feelings couldn’t even be described correctly.  
\- I say it and I’d repeat it a million times. Seokjin…Jinnie, please just… We can fix it, when this is all over… - Namjoon tried to speak, tried to bring any sense to his words but he knew he didn’t know how in the world they could fix this.  
\- And then what? We can live together? Namjoon, please, I’m trying to protect you! Both of us, can’t you see this? - Seokjin said, desperation filling his voice, he was walking towards Namjoon, his body trembling.  
\- If you push me away you will hurt me more, please don’t do this to me, I l- Namjoon was about to say it, he was about to say what he wanted for the last eight months but Seokjin shushed him with a finger against his lips.  
\- Please don’t. Don’t say it, please I can’t - Seokjin rested his forehead against Namjoon’s and the younger felt his heart pound and his eye prickle with tears.  
\- I do. You know I do - Namjoon whispered against Seokjin’s fingers as one single tear made its way across his cheeks.  
\- I know. I know and I do too, just… I can’t loose you. Not like this - Seokjin breathed out against Namjoons tightly closed lips.

They stood there, in silence just feeding off of each others heavy breaths, their foreheads touching and their hands laced together in a silent promise of unshared words that were still to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So babies, what do ya'll think? This chapther ended up being a lot more angsty than what I anticipated but, yeah, okay.  
> I'm very happy to say that I'm courrently open for comissions! (both fanart and fanfic!) I'm an artist as well and I love my BTS babys so if you guys are interested and would like to see my work, please head over instagram, tumblr or twitter at @spacepandaboy and check it out! Also, come and talk to me! let's scream about BTS together whaaaa  
> As usual, this is not proof read and english is not my first language so if you guys see something wrong tell me please!  
> As always please leave me a comment and some kuddos if u didn't already, it means a lot to me and it makes me feel motivated!  
> thank you soooo much for reading! I'll see you guys next chapter! bubyeeee


	4. New life, new me, new us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! fist of all happy 2018!  
> I'm so so sorry for disappearing for so long! College was sucking all of my life and also, I got a job! so that's why I didn't have any time to write.  
> Buuut, I'm back!   
> Thank you so much for all the kudos and feedback, you guys are amazing!  
> hope you enjoy, see you at the end notes!

\- Ok, this way - Hoseok said while walking through the gigantic garage that held a ton of really old, rusty cars.  
All of the vehicles were owned by the old folks that lived in the apartment complex. They rarely used the cars, seeing as they barely left the house anyways.  
\- And how exactly you pretend to take us there? Maybe with one of these beautiful vehicles? - Taehyung said mocking the cars in the garage, flicking his fingernail in the rusty outside of a particularly ugly car. Hoseok snorted.  
\- You are being quite sassy for someone that was scared shitless just hours ago - the older man said raising an eyebrow.  
\- Yes, actually, being held at gunpoint is quite distressing would you imagine that - Taehyung crossed his arms in front of his body, rolling his eyes - but now we’re talking about my brother and that’s more important than my own safety - he said and Hoseok felt his chest constrict in shame.  
\- Listen, I’m sorry but I just had to- Hoseok started to speak but was interrupted by the younger.  
\- Relax. I mean, you could have been a little more gentle, but, yeah, I could also be dead by now so I guess that’s fine. Thanks, by the way. I never had the chance to thank you for saving my life. Even though you almost gave me a heart attack - it was the time for Taehyung to snort, combing his hair back with his hand.  
Hoseok blushed at the younger’s words, some of the guilt fading away.  
\- I, uhm... No problem, anytime, I mean, yeah, I’m sorry about… about the whole gun thing I never mean to scare you - Hoseok said truthfully, scratching his neck lightly.  
\- My, My, who would have thought you were such a softie? I almost bought that mean gangster trick you pulled yesterday - Taehyung teased, smiling softly and honestly for the first time and Hoseok felt his neck burn and his heart pound faster because holy shit the boy was gorgeous.

They reached one elevator that went down one floor and when they got out Taehyung felt his chin drop.

Right in front of them were parked several luxurious cars such as a black Lamborghini, a classic red Ferrari and a Bugatti.

Taehyung never thought he would see such expensive cars outside novels and films, it literally looked like the set of “Fast and furious”.

\- Impressed kid? - this time, Hoseok was the one teasing.  
\- Well, fuck yes, how in the world do you get money to buy this stuff anyway? - the boy asked dumbfounded, reaching to stroke along the shiny surface of the car. If it was anyone else, Hoseok would probably be screaming, but Taehyung just looked so amazed and cute and all Hoseok wanted was to scoop the boy up and kiss him.  
Another time though.  
\- Well, our lifestyle accommodates it I suppose - Hoseok shrugged - but, I’ll let you play with those later, for now, let us go - he said and Taehyung’s eyes widened at the thought of actually driving one of the cars.  
\- Which one are we using? - the boy asked, sounding like an excited puppy and Hoseok giggled.  
\- Well, have you ever ridden a motorcycle? - the man asked and Taehyung froze as he took in the huge black motorcycle propped up behing one of the cars as Hoseok pushed away the fabric covering it.  
\- Hell no! I’m definitely not riding this…Thing - Taehyung said completely scandalized.  
\- Why not? Don’t like the wind messing all your hair? - Hoseok snickered and Taehyung blushed.

Hoseok jumped on top of the bike, signaling for Taehyung to come.

\- Why can’t we just use one of the cars? - Taehyung said frowning and Hoseok sighed.  
\- The traffic’s shit now, we must get there quickly. C’mon, this is important and I’m going to get us there really quickly - Hoseok extended a hand to Taehyung and he pondered for a second before taking a deep breath and accepting the hand, jumping on the bike.  
He was scared shitless but his brother was more important.   
\- Don’t worry about the hair though, that’s what helmets are for - Hoseok handed Taehyung an extra helmet and the boy rolled his eyes.  
\- Cat ears? Really? - he asked examining the black helmet with tiny cat ears peeking out from the top, little fake whiskers drawn in the front.  
\- Sorry about it kitty, this is Jiminie’s - Hoseok said, his grin hidden by his own helmet. Taehyung slapped his arm.  
\- Don’t call me that - the boy said putting on the helmet regardless.  
\- Hold my waist - Hoseok ordered once Taehyung closed the helmet strap, starting the motorcycle.  
\- Excuse me? - Taehyung scoffed.  
\- Well, you have to in order not to fucking fall. Now, hold on tight and lean in the same directions as me when we take a turn ok? - Hoseok said and Taehyung sighed heavily, his voice muffled by the helmet.

He scooted closer to Hoseok and laced his arms around the elder’s waist, his face heating up at the intimate contact.

\- Ready? - Hoseok asked accelerating, his sking tingling where it met Taehyung’s chest.  
\- No - Taehyung mumbled.  
\- Great. Here we go - and, just like that, Hoseok took off with a squirming Taehyung pressed tightly against his back.

Taehyung yelped as the motorcycle’s engines roared, taking speed so quickly that he felt like his skin was being pulled tight against his muscles, cold wind making goosebumps rise in his skin. He instantly regretted not changing his clothes, shorts were definitely not the best option.

Hoseok raced through the traffic that was, indeed, very shitty, going in between trucks and cars in an alarming speed.

The little GPS device attached in the bike’s handle indicated that they would arrive in half an hour which was a huge improvement from the one and a half hours Taehyung took every night to get home.

Taehyung scooted closer to Hoseok when the man took a very sharp turn, his heart pounding hard at the adrenaline.

Hoseok giggled, the sound muffled by the helmet, his chest fluttering at the sensation of the younger’s arms tightening around his waist.

It was ridiculous, but his lifestyle didn’t exactly accommodate having that much contact with another person, (specially no one as hot as Taehyung), so he blamed the lack of personal life in the way he couldn’t stop smiling.

Finally, they arrived at the address Taehyung had given him, a normal small house with a cute little garden in front of it.

Hoseok parked the bike and climbed off, helping Taehyung get down as well, noting that the younger’s legs trembled a bit.

\- So, not bad for a first ride, huh? - Hoseok asked grining.  
\- Definitely not, that is, if you want me to never get back in that thing. You drive like a fucking madman! - Taehyung said taking his helmet off and walking on wobbly legs to sit on the sidewalk.  
\- You’re so dramatic - Hoseok rolled his eyes, sitting close to Taehyung.  
\- Well, after all I’ve been through in the last few hours, I’d say I’m a fucking hero - the younger spat back, crossing his arms.

They had to wait because Taehyung’s keys got lost in the club, so they just sat there, waiting for Taehyung’s little brother to get home.

They fell into a comfortable silence until Hoseok broke it.

\- So, you live alone with your brother? - he asked trying to make small talk.  
\- Yeah, I do - Taehyung answered, leaning back on his arms against the sidewalk.  
\- And your parents? If you don’t mind me asking - Hoseok asked while picking grass from a little tiny crack in the pavement.  
\- Well, I don’t usually talk about my life but as I’m being held hostage… - Taehyung sighed and Hoseok frowned.  
\- You’re not being held hostage, for Christ’s sake- Hoseok huffed, annoyed, but Taehyung just rolled his eyes, interrupting him.  
\- Yeah, yeah, whatever - Taehyung closed his eyes and sighed again - I don’t actually know my parents, me and my brother were foster kids until I became of age and, well, kind of adopted him - he shrugged as if it was not a big deal.

Hoseok felt his heart ache, he didn’t expect the boy to have an amazing life, seeing as he worked in a strip club, but he also didn’t know how that he held such a sad story either.

\- I’m sorry to hear that… You definitely didn’t deserve it - Hoseok mumbled, trying to sound apologetic but Taehyung just laughed humorlessly.  
\- I didn’t deserve a lot of things, Hoseok, but, the thing that kills me is to see my brother suffer. He definitely didn’t deserve all of this - he said in a low voice.

Hoseok didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just mumbled another “I’m sorry”.

\- Don’t be - Taehyung said smiling softly - you know, you’re really soft for a gangster - he said hiding his grin.  
\- Well, I wouldn’t say soft. I’d rather say strong, honest and, generally, a good human - Hoseok shrugged it off, blushing lightly at being called “soft”.  
\- Well, why don’t you tell me about your life a little bit, huh? - Taehyung said and Hoseok just laughed.  
\- That’s dangerous information, I can’t tell you, I’m sorry - Hoseok said and Taehyung frowned indignantly.  
\- But I just told you about very personal stuff and I barely know you! - Taehyung said in a scandalized voice.  
\- You would know me a lot better if you had accepted my invitation from yesterday - Hoseok said smirking and Taehyung blushed remembering the night before when Hoseok had basically asked him out while he was performing.  
\- Are you seriously flirting with me right now? - Taehyung’s cheeks were red.  
\- Cute - Hoseok said ogling him - maybe, I don’t know. Do you want me to? - he asked nonchalantly and the blush that dusted the younger’s cheeks crept down to his exposed collarbones.  
\- Well, no, thank you very much - Taehyung scoffed and turned his back do Hoseok, making the man laugh harder.  
\- What are you doing outside? And who the fuck is that? - They were so lost in their conversation that they didn’t notice the person walking towards them. Taehyung jumped and turned quickly to see a boy with black hair approach them. He had big round eyes and reddish lips that contrasted with his pale skin.  
\- Ggukkie, thank God - Taehyung got up and ran towards the boy, hugging him tightly.  
\- The fuck? Get off of me, ew - the boy said and Taehyung released him in order to run his hands through the boy’s face and hair.  
\- Are you okay? Is everything fine? Did you eat? You look so pale - Taehyung said, concern thick in his words. The boy shoved his hands away.  
\- Yeah, I’m fucking fine. What are you doing outside anyways? And who the hell is him? - the boy asked again and Taehyung sighed.  
\- This is Hoseok, he’s a… friend - Taehyung gestured to Hoseok that promptly stood up, walking towards the two of them - his name is Jeongguk - Taehyung said, introducing the two of them.  
\- Nice to meet you Jeongguk - Hoseok said bringing a hand towards the boy who didn’t accept and it, staring blankly at the man’s face.  
\- Is he one of your boyfriends from work? - Jeongguk asked in a mocking manner and Taehyung’s face heated up again, followed up by Hoseok who coughed and blushed furiously.  
\- Where are your manners Jeongguk? He’s your hyung. And, no, he’s not my boyfriend. Now, if you would be so kind, open the door for me. We have to talk - Taehyung said trying to impose himself, arching his eyebrows.

Jeongguk stared at the Hoseok and Taehyung for a couple of seconds before rolling his eyes and walking towards the door, shoving Taehyung to the side.

He entered the house and threw his backpack on the ground, launching himself on the couch and crossing his arms.

The house was pretty standard, like one of those you see in an american lifestyle magazine, with a small living room, and a kitchen that was divided from the room with a counter.

\- Jeongguk, we’ll have to move. Just for some time - Taehyung said as soon as he closed the door, sitting in front of Jeongguk on the little table in the middle of the room. Hoseok stood at the door, like a bouncer of some kind just to make sure that the boy didn’t ran away like he suspected he might, taking the boy’s reaction as any sign.

They couldn’t lose any time.

Jeongguk’s eyes widened and his mouth opened, revealing his two white incisives, he looked like a little scared bunny.

\- What the fuck? - Jeongguk spat a soon as he snapped out of his daze.  
\- Listen, I know it’s hard but I’ll explain- Taehyung started but the boy was infuriated.  
\- Hard? Do you have any fucking clue… What the fuck Tae? What do you mean by “move”? Fuck, you have no clue what’s Hard! You keep fucking everything up! You just come home from your stupid work as a fucking prostitute and tell me- Jeongguk’s words were cut off by a hard slap coming from Taehyung.

The room fell silent and Hoseok felt all of the oxygen sucked off of the place as he watched the scene unfold in front of him: Jeongguk turning his face slowly towards Taehyung again, his left cheek an angry red, Taehyung standing up as he spoke, voice trembling.

\- You are the one who doesn’t have a fucking clue of what is going on - Taehyung’s voice was low and unstable, his nose flared with every intake of breath - I kill myself working every fucking day of my life so I can get enough money to pay for your school, to give you food and a home and that is how you repay me - he sounded wounded and his eyes shone from the tears gathering there - and it doesn’t matter what I do to earn all of that, but you don’t have the fucking right to treat me like this - The first tear rolled down Taehyung’s face and he turned his back to Jeongguk, glancing quickly at Hoseok who felt completely powerless against the situation.

Taehyung took a deep breath, closing his eyes and wiping at his tears.

\- The place where I work, well, worked, was sabotaged, and now we’re in danger. The thing is, we’re lucky enough to have Hoseok and his friends to take care of us and we just cannot live here anymore. Not for a while, anyways - Taehyung turned back to face Jeongguk who was still frozen in place, his hand rubbing against his cheek - I promise I will explain all the details to you once we’re safe but we need to get out of here, so please, go upstairs and gather everything you need, take all your documents and important stuff like that - he said crossing his arms.

Jeongguk didn’t move at first, standing up slowly and staring back at Taehyung. When he finally spoke, his voice was uncertain.

\- Tae, I’m- He was about to apologize but Taehyung couldn’t take it. Not now, he was still angry and sad and confused and he knew they just needed to get the fuck out as quick as possible.  
\- Go, now. We’ll talk later - he said and, with that, Jeongguk turned on his heels and went towards the stairs, his face still red and his features holding a sad expression.  
The room fell silent and once they heard the door from upstairs shut closed, Taehyung sighed heavily, throwing himself against the couch.

Hoseok sighed as well, sitting beside Taehyung.

That was going to be a hell of a day.  
***

Yoongi woke up slowly and once he regained his thoughts, he also felt the heavy pain radiating from his leg.

His vision was blurry and his mind hazy. What the fuck happened?

\- Fuck… - he growled when he tried to put himself into a sitting position, failing and falling softly on his back again.

He tried to remember what the fuck happened to him and then the images from the club came crashing through his mind: screams, smoke and gunshots.

He glanced towards his own right leg, bandaged up and clean now, the pain still there as the sedatives wore off.

He rubbed his eyes, making the haziness go away.

Then he saw it, well, smelled first, a sweet smell, not candy or chocolate but something fruity like peaches and cream. 

Turning his gaze to his left he saw the source of the delicious aroma: Jimin was fast asleep in a chair close to his bed, his face relaxed, features almost angelic with the last sun rays framing his blonde hair, messy and tousled from sleeping. In his tiny hands he held a cup of tea, dangerously dangling, threatening to spill.

Yoongi felt bad to wake the younger but he wanted to move and sit up and eat because he was positively starving.

\- Jimin… Jimin-ah - Yoongi croaked, his voice hoarse from disuse.

Jimin opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times before jumping up from the chair once his eyes found Yoongi’s, letting the mug fall, tea splattering across his jeans and the fluffy carpet.

\- Hyung! Fuck - the younger said examining the carpet and his jeans before sprinting towards the bed with an alarmed expression - are you okay? You’re awake! - he said happy but concerned at the same time, crushing Yoongi with a bear hug. The elder thought it was really cute.  
\- I’m fine Jiminie, ouch, Jimin-ah - Yoongi said half laughing half hissing at the pain in his leg where Jimin accidentally kneeled on.  
\- I’m sorry hyung! Can I get you anything? Are you hungry? - Jimin promptly placed himself at the edge of the bed, looking at Yoongi with a concerned face, his brows furrowing.  
\- I’m fine, I just need to sit a little bit - his back ached where he was laying for too long - and I’m a little hungry as well - Yoongi said grinning as his stomach growled.  
\- Ok hyung! Here, I’ll help you - Jimin smiled and helped Yoongi to a sitting position, his body relieved at the new angle - I’ll grab some food for you. Anything in particular you’d like? - Jimin asked with a sunshine smile.  
\- Lamb skewers? - Yoongi sounded hopeful, like a little kid asking for candy and Jimin laughed.  
\- I’ll be right back! - Jimin said with a huge smile, standing up and promptly going towards the door - if you need anything call me on my radio! - he screamed before disappearing through the door.  
Yoongi sighed, a lazy smile stretching across his face.

Jimin was so caring and cute and absolutely the best… He almost felt like he didn’t deserve it.

The boy had a little extra something that Yoongi couldn’t quite put his finger on, something special that made his chest constrict in the best of ways.

Whatever it was, he hoped he could give it back because if there was someone who deserves recognition for his efforts, it was Jimin.

Yoongi felt like almost falling asleep again when he heard the front door open and close. 

\- Jimin? - Yoongi called but got no answer.  
\- Hyung? Are you feeking fine? - Namjoon’s head poked through the crack on Yoongi’s room door.  
\- Ah, Namjoonie - Yoongi greeted, smiling softly until he noticed the younger’s face, turning it into a grimace - I should be asking you, you look terrible, come in - he said frowning.  
\- Wow, thanks hyung - Namjoon laughed without humor, entering the room and sitting on the edge of the bed.  
\- Seriously, have you been crying? Is everything okay? - Yoongi’s frown deepened, noticing namjoon’s red and puffy eyes, his face a little swollen.  
\- No - Namjoon lied and Yoongi rolled his eyes.  
\- Oh, please, I’ve known you for far too long to know when you’re lying. Spit it out - the elder said raising an eyebrow.

Namjoon sighed. Yoongi really did knew him very well, but he was not feeling ok to talk right now, specially about all of the “I have a secret relationship with the cop that almost arrested us yesterday”. No, he wasn’t ready to talk just yet. He just wanted to sleep, sleep, sleep and maybe sleep a little more after that.

\- It’s nothing hyung, really, I just got upset with the whole situation from yesterday, that’s all - Namjoon said trying to shrug it off - Is Jimin-ah home? - he asked, trying to change the subject.  
\- No, he went to buy me some lamb skewers ‘cause I’m hungry as hell - Yoongi said still not satisfied with namjoon’s answer but knowing better than to push the subject further.  
\- Isn’t he a sweetheart - Namjoon laughed softly.  
\- He just wants to make me happy so he can push me to pay him back later, the brat - Yoongi didn’t sound convincing at all, not with a stupid smile threatening to split his face, but he wasn’t about to drop his sassy attitude. Namjoon smiled because he knew the truth.  
\- Of course hyung, of course - the younger said rolling his eyes - well, I’m going to be on my room, ok? I really need a nap, but if you need anything just scream and I’ll be right back - Namjoon said smiling softly.

Yoongi smiled back and nodded his agreement.

Namjoon entered his room, closing the door and sinking to the floor with his back against it.

The truth is, he had been crying his brains out through the ride back home, almost hitting the car in front of him twice because he couldn’t see very well with tears fogging up his vision.

It hurt like a motherfucker to end everything with Jin, it hurt almost physically in a way, his heart clenching tightly whenever he thought about not being able to meet the man anymore.

Jin had been so harsh but at the same time Namjoon saw the hurt in his eyes, saw how his beautiful brown eyes watered, saw the hurt in his expression.

It was doomed since the beginning, this whole… relationship, it was not supposed to happen, it just wasn’t, Jin had said so, he was very clear when he said that they were just pretending, but the thing is, to Namjoon, it had always been real, always concrete, like something that they could manage to have once they both finished all this hell.

Namjoon liked to nourish the idea that once they caught their it man, they could both retire and live quietly and peacefully together like some ridiculous 50’s novel, but, Namjoon was a gangster and Seokjin was a cop.

It couldn’t happen and that was the picture that hurt the most in Namjoon’s mental wall of disappointments in life.

It also hurt to know that he couldn’t tell any of his friends, brothers even, because it could be dangerous and also because he would not be seen the same way as before.

So, with all of that in mind, he just allowed himself to cry like a little stupid baby until he fell asleep against the carpeted floor of his room.

***

The ride back home went a lot smoother than what Taehyung would have thought, Jeongguk didn’t argue to go with Hoseok while Taehyung stayed behind to gather all of the things he still could retrieve before locking the front door one last time.

It was weird, like he was moving again, changing his and Jeongguk’s life yet one more time.  
Fucking it up once again.

\- Ready? - Hoseok asked as soon as they arrived at the apartment floor, keys in hand, air thick with expectation.

Jeongguk glanced nervously at Taehyung, the elder giving him an reassuring smile and nodding.

As soon as they entered Jeongguk’s expression changed from worried to amazed, shooting looks to the huge apartment.

\- Impressed? - Hoseok teased entering behind them and smiling.  
Jeongguk kept his mouth shut, glancing through the hardwood floor and expensive silk courtains.  
\- Hello there! - Jimin, ever the gentle one waved happily to the boy, getting up from the couch where he was feeding Yoongi that had his leg propped up on top of the little table - My name is Jimin - he said extending a hand to Jeongguk who, this time, accepted it.  
\- Jeongguk - the boy said with a nervous glance towards Yoongi.  
\- I‘m Yoongi, nice to meet you - the elder said noticing that the boy was staring at the bandages on his leg - Ah this? Nothing special, just a little accident, I’m really clumsy. But that’s because you haven’t met Namjoonie yet - Yoongi said hiding his mouth with his hand, making Jimin and Hoseok laugh.  
\- Do you want to see your new room? - Hoseok chirped excitedly.  
\- We’d love to, right Ggukie? Let’s put our bags there so we can eat okay? - Taehyung said placing a hand in Jeongguk’s waist before leading him behind Hoseok.  
\- He’s really cute - Jimin said respositioning himself at Yoongi’s side and feeding him another spoonful of chicken noodle soup, (lamb skewers already devoured).  
\- He looks scared as fuck - Yoongi frowned.  
\- Of course he is, put yourself in his place - Jimin rolled his eyes - but we’ll help him feel at home - he said.  
\- So, This is usually Jiminie’s room, but he agreed to sleep with Yoongi hyung while you guys are staying here, okay? - Hoseok opened a door to reveal a large room with a king sized bed surrounded by a beautiful canopy cover. The walls were all baby yellow toned and there was also a bathroom attached to the room, as well as a small fireplace and a huge television.  
\- That’s more than enough, I mean, we could sleep in the couch or something - Taehyung said but Hoseok almost looked offended.  
\- No way! This is the least we can do, after… well, after everything you went through since last night - he said frowning.  
\- This room is fucking lit - Jeongguk’s voice broke the silence, entering the room and letting his bags fall to the ground, a grin splitting Hoseok’s face in two.  
\- It is - Taehyung said - Ggukkie, why don’t you go ahead and get your stuff out of the bags while I arrange our bath ok? - Taehyung said and Jeongguk only nodded, dismissing them, Taehyung shoving Hoseok out of the room and closing the door.  
\- I take it you’re feeling more at home then? - Hoseok asked still smiling.  
\- I… Thank you so much - taehyung flushed - I… I’ve never had the chance to thank you properly for literally saving my life and bringing me here and… I’m sorry you guys are stuck with us - he said.  
\- That’s not a problem, at all Taehyung, for real, I mean, it was my decision to bring you though… - Hoseok scratched his neck, embarrassed.  
\- Well, yeah… But, thank you nonetheless, you guys… You guys are all great, really. Thanks - Taehyung smiled softly.  
\- No problem, I know that… I know that we met in really shitty circumstances but, you can rest assure, for as long as you stay here, I promise nothing is going to happen to you or your brother ok? - Hoseok said, tilting Taehyung’s head with his hand on the younger’s chin.

Taehyung blushed and nodded, smiling again.

\- I, uhm, I’m going to take a bath now… If that’s ok - Taehyung coughed after some seconds of awkward silence.  
\- Yeah, Yeah! You go ahead and make yourself at home, there are clean towels at the bottom cabinet, uhm, I’ll be in the kitchen - Hoseok said turning on his heels.  
\- Hoseok - taehyung said and Hoseok stopped in his tracks, turning back quickly and staring blankly at the boy - Thank you - Taehyung said smiling fully now and turning his back.  
Hoseok felt like he could sing really really loudly and don’t care about what people might think.

\- Hey, is Namjoonie hyung sleeping? - Hoseok asked as soon as he entered the living room.  
\- Yeah, he was really tired and, let me say, looking like fucking shit - Yoongi said.  
\- Well, I’m going to check on him, tell him that everything went smoothly and also give him some food, he probably didn’t eat anything all day long - Jimin said - I’ll be right back - he smiled softly at Yoongi before leaving the room.

Namjoon’s room was always unlocked because he was the leader and he was always available to help, so Jimin just pushed the door open, surprised to find Namjoon laying in the carpet close to the door.

\- hyung? Are you okay? - Jimin kneeled beside Namjoon, his face contorted in fear - hyung! - he said louder, effectively waking the elder up.  
\- Oh, hey Jimin-ah, sorry I… I was really tired - Namjoon sat up, rubbing his eyes.  
\- Hyung, are you okay? - Jimin asked.

Ah,Namjoon thought, such an easy question. He really wanted to just say “yes”, but he couldn’t, he wasn’t ok and Jimin knew it.

It was also really stupid to hide it now, wasn’t it? Really, he and Seokjin were done, so why not just take that weight off of his shoulders?

\- No - he answered simply, his voice raspy from sleep - There’s something I need to tell you Jimin-ah. Something I’ve been hiding from you and the others for a long time now - Namjoon said, surprising himself with his own courage.

Jimin’s face went blank, his eyes bugging out.

He was tired of lying, tired of making himself believe everything was going to be ok because it wasn’t the case.

It was now or never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo, that is it for today's chapter!   
> I'm kind of proud of how this turned out??? I had a ton of ideas during my tiny hiatus, so get ready for some cool stuff coming!  
> I also would like to mention that this chapter has a lot of side shipps interactions because they needed to evolve a lil bit so, there ya go!   
> what do you guys think? Please don't forget to give me feedback and tell me if you guys are enjoying the fic, it really keeps me motivated!  
> as per usuasl, this is not proofread and engrish speaku is not my first language so, sorry for any mistakes!  
> come scream about BTS shipps with me at my instagram or Twitter at @spacepandaboy!  
> and, side note, as I said last chapter, I'm open for comissions! so if you guys are interested (fanfic or fanart) please message me!   
> thxs for reading! I'll see you guys next chapter! byeee


	5. Before I go insane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait, I've been really busy with college back and stuff, but here it is, chapter five!  
> I really hate how this turned out honestly, but this freaking thing has been sitting on my dashboard for three weeks and I'm tired of looking at it, so there ya go.  
> Enjoy! (Or not)

“Hyung?” Jimin asked after some moments of silence.

Namjoon slowly stared at Jimin’s face, biting his bottom lip nervously.

“It’s just that…I mean, you’re my friend right Jimin?” Namjoon seemed so insecure and nervous Jimin was starting to get really anxious. Namjoon was usually the most centered one, the most secure and collected, that’s why he was the leader anyways.

“Of course, hyung, you can tell me anything” Jimin shot Namjoon one of his cute warm smiles in hopes to help the elder calm down, his small hand stretching out to find Namjoon’s. That was all the encouragement he needed.

Namjoon smiled a little at that.

“Do you remember when we almost got caught at the strip club?” Jimin nodded slowly, paying close attention to Namjoon’s words “and…Do you remember that cop that almost snatched my mask off? The one that was in charge of the rest of the police squad?” Jimin scrunched up his nose at that.

“Yeah, that bastard” the younger snarled.

“Yeah…uhm…” Namjoon visibly swallowed, his addam’s apple bobbing up and down.

“What is it hyung? Are we still being chased by them? Is he giving us problems? You know Yoongi hyung could easily just snap his neck once he’s recovered and no one would know that-”

“No! No, just… Oh God, what am I even doing…” Namjoon rubbed his hands over his tired features “I don’t want you to… _Kill_ him”

“Why not? I know he’s the same that went against us that time in the alley, hyung, I remember his face, he may be a threat!”

“Jimin, no” Namjoon used his best leader voice and Jimin frowned.

They have killed people before, of course they had, sometimes you just had to do what you had to do and Jimin just couldn’t understand what the big deal about that damn cop was anyways. It was just another member of police scum.

Jimin hated the police because he was the one Namjoon rescued from being arrested just by stealing a fruit to eat, the one that was raised on the streets with no mom or dad, no notion of right or wrong, no concept of love or care placed upon him, the one beaten up by cops more times he could remember just because he didn’t have any other choice but to steal.

Jimin hated the police because they were the ones supposed to help him get out of his horrible orphan life but did nothing but harass and degrade him instead.

“Why are you being like this hyung? I mean, I’ve made some cops disappear before and no one ever found out, so why worry with this one? He’s just some nasty-”

“Jimin…”

“Son of a bitch, disgusting-”

“Jimin!”

“Stupid, useless-”

“Jimin shut up! You’ll not kill this man because I love him!”

Namjoon spat the words, his hands clenched into fists and Jimin just stood there, completely frozen, his mouth agape.

“I…there, I said it, I…I l-love him, and that’s what I’ve been hiding this whole time” Namjoon’s voice quivered as he said the word, that damn word that’s been floating through his mind for so much time, his heart clenching and his eyes already prickling with tears. He said it, the thing he feared the most, it was out and there was nothing he could do to swallow it up again.

“What the fuck? Hyung, what the actual fuck?” Jimin’s voice broke at the last words, standing up and walking backwards, his features painted with an confused look.

“Jimin, wait,”

“No! What the hell? Are you fucking involved with a fucking _cop?”_ the younger spat the word ferociously.

“No, not anymore, but I was, I just-”

“You just what? You thought you could just fuck a cop and then just pretend everything is okay?” Jimin sounded completely out of himself,his warm and sweet voice gone.

“Jimin, I will explain,”

“No, you’re not! How could you? How could you betray me, _us_ , like this?” Jimin questioned, his fists clenched tightly by his sides and every word the man said ripped a little piece of Namjoon’s heart off “Oh my God, that makes so much sense now, that just… I can’t believe this”

“Jimin, please, listen to me,” A single tear made it’s way across Namjoon’s left cheek. Namjoon stood up; trying to reach for Jimin, but the man just flinched, making more tears flow from his burning eyes.

“I never thought you could do this to me, of all people…”

“Jimin, don’t-”

“You know how fucking dangerous that could be? For you? For us all? I trusted you, I trusted you and you… I can’t take this right now.” Jimin turned and walked towards the door, grabbing the doorknob.

“Jimin, p-please, I b-beg you just listen to m-me” Namjoon sobbed, his face scrunched up in despair.

Jimin turned around, his own face covered by tear stains.

“I trusted you, hyung, I really did” he said before opening the door and shutting it.

Namjoon dropped to his knees again, his hands coming up to cover his frantic sobbing. He didn’t want to make the situation worse than it already was by waking up Taehyung or Jeongguk with his pathetic crying.

 “What the hell? Jimin, get the fuck back here!” Namjoon heard Yoongi’s voice from the living room, followed by Hoseok’s “Jimin-ah!”, the front door slamming shut just seconds after.

“What the fuck was that all about? Where the fuck did he go?”

“I don’t know, he was just in Namjoon hyung’s room a second ago!”

“Well, go talk to him! Fuck, I’ll try to call Jimin”

Footsteps, quick ones jogging up to Namjoon’s room startled him.

Namjoon got up as fast as he could, running to lock his door just as Hoseok’s voice came from outside.

“Hyung, what is going on? Hyung! Namjoon, open this door! Hyung!”

Namjoon grabbed a chair and shoved it against the doorknob, thudding his forehead against the wood, trying very hard not to sob loudly.

“Namjoon! Open the door, hyung, what happened? Hyung!” Hoseok called from outside.

Namjoon made his way to his bed, resting his head on his pillow and praying to whoever heard him that they could all get out from this shitshow he just started, rubbing his balled up fists down his face.

What a stupid, stupid decision.

“Why the fuck are they all screaming? Something just happened” Jeongguk said, sticking his neck up from the pillows just as Taehyung closed the door of the room, drying his wet hair.

“I don’t know, but just… Stay away from it, ok? We don’t need any more trouble” the grey haired man said slipping on his pajamas.

“Well, could’ve thought about that before dragging both of us into this shit” Jeongguk spat. Taehyung sighed.

“I am not in the mood for another discussion right now, okay?”

“You just threw me into this and now you ‘don’t want another discussion’?”

“Jeongguk, stop, I already said I’m sorry. It wasn’t my fault, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever”

Taehyung sighed.

“I still have school, you know that right?”

“Yes”

“And how am I supposed to go? Am I just going to walk myself there and assume the risk to be shot right in the head?”

“You’re being overly dramatic. We’re not in so much danger. I mean, we are, but Hoseok told me we are safe, I believe him and you should too. It’s not like you care about school anyway.” Taehyung said raising his eyebrows as he set himself on the mattress set beside Jeonguuk’s bed.

“It’s a shitty school”

“It is the best I can afford and, for now, it is better than nothing” Taehyung hissed.

“Tae, what the hell is even happening? Will you please at least tell me?” Jeongguk seemed tired, suddenly looking older than he was and Taehyung sighed heavily, the weight off all his decisions and life choices falling heavy against his shoulders.

“The club was sabotaged, there’s this man who went there and he is a drug dealer, a big one” Jeongguk’s eyes widened at that “and he made the police find the place, a fake call, because he knew they” he gestured to the door, lowering his voice even though Hoseok and Yoongi wouldn’t hear a thing with all of the screaming going on “were trying to catch him. The police arrived and we were all about to get arrested, even me, and they saved me. I could be in prison right now, so that’s why I trust them, besides, it’s our only option right now.”

“Wait, why would you be arrested? Oh, God, what have you been doing? Are you involved with drugs? Tae, that’s so messed up-”

“Shut up. I’m not involved with drugs. It’s just… the place where I worked was not legalized per se, and a lot of shit happened there, and so they just assumed I was a criminal” Taehyung explained calmly. He never actually told Jeongguk what he did, the boy just discovered it was at a strip club, but God knows what he thought Taehyung did.

“Tae, just… What exactly _is_ your job?” there, Jeongguk asked the question Taehyung have been avoiding for years. The elder sighed, his eyes closed.

“I’m… I was a stripper. I’ve never been naked on stage, but that’s what I am. There, I said it. Are you satisfied?” Taehyung inhaled deeply.

One of the main reasons why he never said that out loud was because he himself didn’t want to believe that was his reality, he didn’t want to say it out loud, didn’t want to live like that. Jeongguk didn’t deserve that life either, so they just ignored the subject, playing pretend.

Jeongguk just stared back at him with his big bunny eyes, not sure how to react. He knew, of course he did, but the words were so harsh and naked he just never brought himself to actually believe it. Maybe he was hopeful Taehyung would say he was just a bartender or something.

“So you… You get money to dance in short shorts and have sex-”

“No! No, God, no, I’m not a prostitute. I’ve never had sex for money, no.” Taehyung quickly explained.

“God, Tae…” Jeongguk rubbed his face and Taehyung felt his heart sink.

“I know, I know it’s horrible, but I just… That is what pays the rent”

“And my school”

“And your school”

“You never told me…”

“I was just so scared, you know how hard it was for me? How hard it still is? You’re the most important thing to me, I’m sorry”

“No, that’s… I just need some time to digest that”

“I understand. I’m so sorry Gukie”

“Don’t…” Jeongguk shook his head and lowered his body to the bed “Have you ever thought about how they are? What they look like?”

“Sometimes… I guess I just don’t think about it.”

“Yeah… I just miss their presence you know? Even though we never actually met them”

“I know, I do too”

Jeongguk kept silent, covering his body with the covers and turning his back to Taehyung who swallowed up the lump in his throat.

“Are you hungry? There is food in the kitchen” he asked, wiping away a stray tear.

“’m fine, ate at school”

“Okay”

“Tae?” the boy called still facing the wall, after some silence.

“Yeah?”

“About earlier, I’m… I didn’t mean to…You know…”

“It’s fine”

“Okay”

“Sleep.” Taehyung said turning the lights off.

Jeongguk sighed again and Taehyung couldn’t resist smiling softly, he loved Jeongguk more than life itself. It was not an apology, but Taehyung knew what the younger meant and, for now, that was more than enough.

It didn’t take long to Jeongguk to fall asleep, snoring softly against the pillow.

“I love you, Gukie, I promise nothing bad will happen to you” Taehyung whispered before getting up and walking out of the room, closing the door softly.

He walked through the hall, finding Hoseok slamming Namjoon’s door, the noise somehow forgotten until now.

“Hyung, I swear to God- Oh! Oh hey Taehyung! I’m sorry, did I wake you up? I’m so sorry-”

“You didn’t wake me up, relax. Is everything okay?” Taehyung asked softly.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m sure Namjoon hyung and Jimin had a little fight but everything will be fine… Are you hungry?” the man questioned changing the subject as he saw Taehyung’s curious gaze.

“Yeah, a little bit…” Taehyung said just as his stomach growled loudly “Well, a lot, actually. Fuck, I’m starving” he smiled softly.

“Let’s go eat then! I made some Yukgaejang just now, I hope you like it” Hoseok smiled brightly despite his concern with his hyung, and walked Taehyung to the kitchen “Sit, I’ll warm some up for you”

“Thanks, Hoseok” Taehyung smiled, sitting in a bench next to the counter.

“Hoseok, what the fuck is going on? Jimin isn’t picking up and I’m sick of just staying here doing absolutely nothing!” Yoongi snapped from the couch, throwing his arms up in distress, his phone landing on a pillow.

“I don’t know! Namjoon is just ignoring me. You know how stubborn  they both can be” Hoseok shrugged as he poured some food into Taehyung’s bowl, distressed as well but clearly calmer than Yoongi.

“Fuck, Jimin is stupid when he’s irritated and he looked pissed off. I’m going to find him” Yoongi made a move to get up, but Hoseok rushed forward just as the elder hissed in pain at his leg, supporting his weight.

“Shut up hyung, just give it some time okay? You know how these things are” Hoseok placed Yoongi back in the couch, the elder huffing in annoyance.

“And what am I supposed to do? Sit and wait?”

“Precisely, preferably with your fucking leg up you dummie” Hoseok said shoving a pillow under Yoongi’s bafe foot.

Hoseok moved back at the kitchen to resume his ministrations on Taehyung’s food “Here, I hope it’s edible” he said, making Taehyung smile, taking a bite and moaning at the delicious taste. Hoseok smiled and Yoongi huffed.

“Tastes amazing. Thank you”

“You know you don’t have to thank me right? It’s food, I’m not doing any favor” Hoseok shrugged smiling softly, making Taehyung blush.

“Hoseok, about favors… I really need to ask you something” Taehyung said around a mouthful of meat.

“Ask away”

“Uhm, so, Jeongguk… He has school and I would really appreciate if you could… I don’t know, maybe take him there? I just don’t want him walking alone”

“Of course! I mean, it’s nothing more than my duty to do so. Stay relaxed, I’ll take him and you wherever you guys want to go, ok? Here, we never walk alone” Hoseok landed a hand on top of Taehyung’s, reassuringly.

“Thank you”

“What did I said about thanking me?” Hoseok scolded, not angry in the least, just teasing, and by the flush across Taehyung’s face, he had done it correctly.

 

“Perfect, hope I don’t see you around so soon, officer!” the old woman said while Seokjin signed the papers to leave the hospital, he had minor injuries, being sent to the hospital just because his head hit the floor when he fell.

“Thank you very much, have a good day” Seokjin forced a smile to the lady before leaving.

His head was whirling and he couldn’t get the images out of his mind.

Namjoon crying against his face, Namjoon kissing his cheek goodbye, Namjoon turning his head back and climbing out the window like a movie spy, Namjoon, Namjoon, _Namjoon_.

He felt sick, he just wanted to rest, let his mind take some time… He wanted to be able to breathe properly.

He entered his own apartment, sighing and throwing himself against the couch.

“Oh, hey there boy, I missed you” he smiled weakly at the cat that landed softly on his lap, purring, lacing his fingers across its soft fur, remembering how he used to do the same to Namjoon’s hair.

It was crazy how his life was being swallowed up by only his thoughts on the man.

He took a license from work. Not that he wanted to, but because the department chief basically said he didn’t want to see Seokjin’s face in front of him for the next month, waving a threatening finger across Seokjin’s nose.

He hated that, because working was the only thing keeping him from doing anything stupid like calling Namjoon or thinking about him every time or look at pictures of the man saved on his phone.

Did Namjoon think of him that way as well? Was the man thinking about him right now?

Namjoon was suffering, of course, but surely he wouldn’t feel as much as Seokjin did. Namjoon was younger, free, could quit his lifestyle whenever he wanted to just live a normal life and never get caught for his actions. Not that Seokjin would throw him under the bus anyways. He promised Namjoon so.

It was going to be better that way. Not for Seokjin, but he was willing to give up his happiness for Namjoon.

The day went by just like his mind: grey and slow.

Maybe he would take some vacations, leave the country or something, he had the money, (saved from years of work) and, well, he had the time now. Maybe some place really distant and unexpected, just so he wouldn’t go fucking insane.

Yeah, traveling would be nice. He could find someone to take care of RJ for him.

He needed to get Namjoon out of his mind, as quick as possible.

 _“It’s going to be fine_ ” he lied to himself laying under his covers.

“Jimin! Holy shit, where the fuck were you? What is going on? Wait! Where are you going? JIMIN!” Yoongi screamed as Jimin entered their apartment three hours after he left, face still scrunched up in anger.

“Jimin! What the fuck is going on?” Hoseok asked rising softly from his seat at the kitchen, cursing as he dropped a bowl to the ground in his haste to get up.

The blonde completely ignored Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s protests, marching towards Namjoon’s room and slamming the door with his fist.

“Open the door” he demanded in a stern voice, waiting a couple of seconds before slamming it harder, again.

Nothing.

Jimin took a distance, inhaling deeply before kicking the door with his full force, successfully breaking the lock, making the wood slam against the inside wall of the room, the chair propped against the doorknob thrown aside, doorknob laying on the ground.

“Get the fuck up”

Namjoon stared back at Jimin with wide eyes, mouth agape, still laying in his bed.

“I said, get the fuck up, Namjoon” he repeated with a serious look in his face.

Namjoon swallowed and stood up slowly. Jimin was small, yes, but he was far from weak and the look on his face told Namjoon everything he needed.

“Jimin…Jimin what the actual fuck? I demand an explanation! What is going on?” Hoseok screeched from the end of the corridor, his face contorted in despair and confusion.

“In a minute, Hoseok” Jimin said gesturing to Namjoon to follow him through the corridor.

Once they were all in the living room, Yoongi looked like he was on the verge of having a hysterical attack.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS DAMN HOUSE?” the eldest screamed, punching his own thighs.

“Sit, both of you, we need to talk” JImin gestured to the couch and both Namjoon and Hoseok sat beside Yoongi.

The blonde closed the corridor door, remembering Jeongguk and Taehyung in the next room.

“Jimin, what the fuck?” Hoseok looked extremely distressed, Namjoon was still shocked, brows furrowed and bottom lip caught between his teeth.

Jimin pulled a chair and sat in front of the other three man, his expression neutral.

“Namjoon hyung needs to tell you something” he said simply, staring right into Namjoon’s soul.

Yoongi and Hoseok promptly turned their faces towards the leader, their expressions so shocked they could be funny if the situation wasn’t so nerve wracking.

“Jimin, please-”

“Do you prefer me doing the talking?” Jimin questioned seriously and Namjoon considered the question for a second, although he knew that was practically an order from the younger.

He inhaled deeply.

“Namjoon, please just get this over with” Jimin sounded softer now, his eyebrow knitted together and he was right, Namjoon couldn’t keep lying that way to his friends.

Namjoon proceeded to tell the full story now, how he met Seokjin, how they started a relationship, how they found out about their secret lives just a long time after that, how he regretted being involved with a cop, how he wanted to just forget the man forever, how he loved him…

“You are the single most stupid, imbecile, dumb, piece of fucking shit person in the entire world” Yoongi broke the awkward silence by voicing his thoughts slamming his fists against whatever surface of Namjoon’s body he could reach until the elder got out of his reach.

“Fuck you Yoongi! It was not my fault!” Namjoon screamed back at the man, his face already soaked with tears of shame.

“You are! How could you hide this from us for such a long time?” Yoongi screamed back.

“Because I knew this is how you’d react! I had my fair share of fucking pain already ok? I’m not involved with him anymore anyway, so fuck that” Namjoon choked out.

“I can’t believe this…” Hoseok didn’t look like he completely comprehended the situation, his face scrunched up in confusion and disappointment.

“Listen, I’m fucking sorry ok? I know he is a cop and I know he could be dangerous and I know he could make us all go to jail, but I promise he won’t do us any harm, he would never-”

“Wait, this is why you think I’m angry?” Yoongi asked and Namjoon furrowed his brows in confusion, staring at him “You complete idiot! Of course I’m worried, but the thing I most pissed is that you wouldn’t trust us enough to tell us you dumb fuck”

Oh.

“Namjoon, we are a fucking team! How do you expect us to trust each other if you don’t tell us about your problems?” Hoseok questioned out of the sudden.

“Wait a second, so you’re not angry because I almost dated a cop? A fucking cop?”

“Of course we are you idiot” Jimin said, breaking his silence suddenly, his head cast downwards, his voice back to being soft “that was the single most terrifying thing you’ve ever told me because… You know what I’ve been through with those kinds of people, but now… Now I know it was not your fault. We could be in jail right now and it wouldn’t matter because we would be together.” Jimin explained.

“It was extremely dangerous and fucking reckless, but we all make mistakes hyung, but what hurts the most is that you didn’t tell us, you didn’t trust us” Hoseok admits, his face now presenting a tinge of sadness.

“I’m sorry I… I was just so scared and I didn’t want to put you in trouble or in danger, I was so ashamed, but at the same time… At the same time I couldn’t stop what I was doing, it was stronger than me and I’m so so fucking sorry” Namjoon broke at that, crying fully and that scared Hoseok and Yoongi who, like JImin, were not used to seeing such display of emotion from Namjoon.

“Namjoon, sit down” Yoongi sighed and Namjoon took the seat next to him “Listen, you are a complete idiot, got it? For being involved with the enemy, but mostly for thinking that we would turn our backs to you”

“It is dangerous hyung, it really is, we don’t know what could’ve happen, what could still happen, although he promised to you he wouldn’t report us, he could change his mind, but whatever happens, we are going to be together, and that’s what is most important” Hoseok explained softly and Namjoon felt his heart clench.

“Hyung” Jimin called from the chair he sat “I’m… I’m sorry for the way I treated you earlier. I was so fucking scared hyung, so scared for you, for us, because… You know what I’ve been through and that trauma is never going away. I just felt betrayed but I know that you’d never do anything to harm us. I’m sorry” he apologized, making Namjoon smile.

“We are a fucking team you fool, don’t you ever do this again or I swear I’m taking place as the leader” Yoongi hugged Namjoon and gave him a hard slap to the back of his neck.

“We can fix everything as long as we stay together, got it?” Hoseok asked.

“You are the most precious people to me, thank you so much” Namjoon said when Jimin came to engulf the three of them in a warm hug, his words muffled.

Namjoon felt a little better, his heartache diminishing. He was such a fool. Such a fool for thinking that they wouldn’t stick with him.

“So, you broke up with him?” Hoseok asked after some time.

“Hm…Actually it was him. He decided that it was not going to work and so we just decided that… That we wouldn’t see each other again” Namjoon exhaled, shuddering at the thought of never seeing Seokjin again.

“Yeah, news flash, a gangster and a police officer, what a great couple” Yoongi snorted.

“Hyung, please” Namjoon whined, his heart still wounded at Seokjin’s words.

“So do you really…Like, love him?” Jimin asked with hopeful eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. And it sucks” Namjoon said through the lump on his throat.

“That is bad” Yoongi sighed, rubbing his neck.

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me” Namjoon said.

“I think that, in the end, everything’s going to be fine, you’ll never see him again and you’ll probably forget him in no time” Hoseok chirped, thinking that was a good thing to say.

Namjoon swallowed visibly, letting out a shaky “yeah, probably” thinking about Seokjin forgetting about him, knowing someone else, marrying and having children and a gross American movie life. The thought made him sick.

“Everything will be okay hyung” Jimin said and Namjoon really wished he could believe him.

“FUCKING FINALLY. Found our man!” Yoongi chirped from the couch where he sat, typing frenetically for the last thre hours straight.

“Hell yes” Hoseok came crashing down beside him, scanning the screen quickly “Wait, USA? Guess big boy needed some vacations huh?” he laughed softly.

“Did you say USA?” Jimin questioned from the kitchen, one rectangular brow raised.

“Well, I’m pretty sure. I mean, at first I thought he would’ve changed his phone, but the jackass never did it, so I just had to find the signal, track it down and bingo.” Yoongi shrugged.

“What place in the USA precisely?”

“Well, his tracking code says he went through Texas, NY and now, from what I read here, Las Vegas Nevada”

“Makes sense, easy place for drug dealing” Hoseok added.

“Well, what now?” JImin questioned.

“First we tell Namjoon, then we see what we can do about it”

Hoseok promptly grabbed his phone to call Namjoon, telling him to come home immediately to some important updates.

Two whole weeks had passed since Namjoon confessed to his group and he still didn’t feel that much better.

He would think about Seokjin daily, recalling the words he heard the last time they’ve met, how the man sounded wounded yet firm.

Although his life had been shitty from that day on, now at least his friends knew the truth, so knowing that they had his back was reassuring.

Not that it made his life instantly easier, but he had to move on with his life, had to move on with their little chasing game. At least  when they got that man away from the game, (and Namjoon knew they would) they’d go up in the ranking of gangs, maybe even win a nice cash prize if they handed the man fto the right people.

Namjoon entered the apartment with several groceries in hand, his face rosy from the cold wind.

“Spit it out” he blurted out just as he closed the door, moving to the counter and dropping everything on top of the marble surface.

“Found Mr. Jackson.” Yoongi smirked and Namjoon smiled, excitement filling him once in a long time.

“Las Vegas, baby” Hoseok announced just as Namjoon plopped beside Yoongi in the couch, examing the screen on his notebook.

“Holy shit, that makes sense”

“Told you” Hoseok giggled.

“So, what now?” Jimin asked excitedly, propping his head on his hands.

Namjoon considered the question for a second.

They needed to keep track of Jackson, that was the only way they could win this whole thing.

Also, it was probably going to be a good thing to get back in business, before his mind went completely insane.

“Well, guess we’re going on a little trip” Namjoon announced, his body thrumming with a mix of fear and excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo here it is!  
> Although I hate how this chapter turned out, it is a really important part of the story, so, there's that.  
> I hope you guys like it though, please let me know if you did! kudos and comments are my damn fuel to write this fic  
> Go find me over instagram, tumblr or twitter at @spacepandaboy! let's scream about bts shipps together whooooooooo  
> as always, thank you guys so much for all the love!   
> see ya next chapter!


	6. Even though it isn't you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!  
> First off, just wanna say I'm SO SORRY for the hiatus! College ans work had me wanting to kill myself, but, oh well, here I am!  
> I am so so so glad to be back and I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!  
> Also, a HUGE thanks to my bby Plam aka Placenta, thank you so much for all the support and thanks for not giving up on me or this fic, ily fam <3  
> P.S.: please forgive all grammar errors, english is not my first language and this is not proofread!

It seemed a lot simpler in Namjoon's head.  
Yeah, of course, a group consisting of four gangsters, a stripper and a minor would easily go through the security at the airport.  
Fuck. He also forgot about the two new additions to their little club.  
"Hoseok... Hoseok," Namjoon shook Hoseoks bedpost, trying to wake the man up "Hoseok, goddamnit! Wake up!" He threw the bed covers to the floor, exposing the man that whined and curled his body, trying to hide from the taller "Hoseok, c´mon, please, it's important."  
Hoseok whined some more, adjusting his body and rubbing his face to open his eyes.  
"Spit it out. It better be good. Just got back from dropping Jeongguk at school. Damn, don't recall kids waking up so early." He said through a yawn.  
"Yeah, that's precisely why I need to talk to you."   
Hoseok stood up so quickly that Namjoon almost fell backwards.  
"What? What is it? Is he okay?" Hoseok asked, his eyes bugging out.  
"Damn, met them for three days and already fell in love? You used to be rougher..." Namjoon snorted.  
"Shut it, dumbass. Spit it out already" Hoseok asked, his face flushing slightly.  
"Well, the thing is, we need to go to Las Vegas, like, tomorrow."  
"Well, yeah, so?"  
"What about them? How am I supposed to take two inexperienced men, one being a minor, to a fucking mission?"  
Hoseok didn't say a word, his features going blank.  
"Fuck" he said, finally.  
"Yeah, precisely. Fuck."  
"Ah, fuck, fuck, I fucked it up" Hoseok covered his face with his hands, falling backwards, against his pillows.  
"Hoseok..." Namjoon rolled his eyes "Relax, okay? We need to think, not cry. Jeongguk is still a minor and, well, it's not like me, you, Yoongi and Jimin could easily go through american airport security with, you know, guns. So, we have to think, now get up and help me."   
Hoseok whined some more.

***

"You need a what?" Yoongi asked in a incredulous voice.  
"A jet, ok? And, may I correct you, we need a jet. A private, discreet one, got it?" Hoseok answered, emphatically.  
"Oh, please Hoseok, wake up! I do have some contacts, but this is absurd! How am I supposed to get us a fucking private jet?" Yoongi seemed desperate, his leg, still a little sore, propped up on a pillow while he typed furiously on to his laptop.  
"Well, I guess you'll have to find us a way. Oh, c'mon Yoons, we need it, otherwise our mission is fucked!"  
Yoongi sighed, rubbing his face.  
"I'll do my best. But quit putting so much fucking pressure on me!" The elder scowled at Hoseok, who threw himself at Yoongi, kissing his cheeks "Stop it, nasty." he complained, cleaning his face with his arms "What about the kid and your little boyfriend?" he asked, clearly teasing.  
Hoseok blushed.  
"I still don't know... They'll have to come with us. Jeongguk still has a month of school until december, so I'm guessing he'll take some early vacations. As for Taehyung... I still have to talk with him." Hoseok scratched his nape, nervous.  
"Good luck with that, mate. Now, leave me alone so I can concentrate on this. Oh, and tell Jiminie I need to talk to him." Yoongi asked.  
"jiminie, huh? So you guys are fucking yet or nah?" it was time for Hoseok to tease and Yoongi frowned, trying to hide his blush behind his laptop screen.  
"Fuck off, Hoseok."  
"Love you too, babe."  
Hoseok sent a quick text to Jimin, 9the only way he would notice, always wearing headphones) and walked through the hallway.  
Searching for his room, where Taehyung was resting, he knocked three times before speaking.  
"Can I come in?"  
"It's your room, of course you can come in." Taehyung's voice came from behind the door. Hoseok chuckled.  
"Just trying to be polite."  
"Yeah, you're a gentleman alright." taehyung rolled his eyes, smiling softly.  
He was laying on the bed, his grey hair pulled back by a hairband, wearing a loose white tee and gym shorts.  
"I try though." Hoseok shrugged "hey, can I talk to you for a second?" he asked shyly, as he saw the boy was reading a magazine.  
"Sure..." he tossed the magazine aside, crossing his legs underneath him. Damn, Hoseok thought, those legs...  
Focus, stupid.  
"Vogue, huh? Are you into fashion and stuff?" he asked, taking the magazine in his hands.  
"well, I really wanted to graduate in fashion design... But I guess life had other plans for me..." the boy shrugged, sighing. Hoseok's heart squeezed in his chest just a little bit. "So, what was it that you wanted to talk?" Taehyung changed the subject quickly.  
"Oh, well, I think that now that we're together, we don't need to keep secrets. You know, we've been searching for that guy, y'know, and like, he took a little trip and, well, this is the best chance we have to catch him and, like-" Hoseok knew he was rambling, so Taehyung interrupted him right away.  
"Spit it out."  
Hoseok swallowed visibly.  
"Well, he's in Las Vegas, we're going after him. And so are you and Jeongguk, i'm afraid."  
Taehyung's face went pale, his eyes big as almonds.  
"No fucking way" he spat emphatically.  
"But you have to! We can't loose this opportunity and we can't just leave you guys!"  
"No! There's no way we're going on a fucking sick little trip to Las Vegas to catch some dangerous drug dealer! What about Jeongguk? He's a kid! He has school!" Taehyung raked his hands through his hair in frustration.  
"Taehyung, please, I know this is too much-"  
"Hell yeah it is 'too much'! Hoseok, listen, I appreciate your help, really. Without you and the others we wouldn't be safe, but, for fuck's sake, I can't! life's already too dangerous and..." Taehyung sighed heavily, closing his eyes "I just want to give the boy a future. a good one, so he will not end up like me"  
"Tae..." Hoseok used a nickname he wasn't even sure he could, in this situation, after all, they weren't intimate. Not at all. "Listen, i'm so so sorry, really. I think about what I did to you and... i'm so sorry. But, please, let me help you, let me make things right for you and Jeongguk. I swore to myself that I would keep you guys safe, and I swear, on my life, that nothing bad will happen to the both of you, ok? Please..." Hoseok was closer to Taehyung now, his eyes pleading to the younger. He knew that what he was asking was crazy, but he could'nt just leave the two of them alone to get caught by a cop or something.  
"I don't know... I don't want us to slow you down either, we will be a burden... and what about his classes?" Taehyung sounded a lot like a father speaking about his son and hoseok felt bad for him, his face so young but his tired expression one of someone who had gone through so much...  
"You'll not be a burden, not at all. As for Jeongguk, I promise he will have the best school, the best education, I promise. Listen, we have money, okay? I'll pay a particular teacher if he needs it, nothing bad will happen, I swear." Hoseok had his hands together like he was praying.  
"what about his safety?" Taehyung asked after some seconds of silence.  
"You'll be fine. You don't have to come to the missions, we will have a nice hotel waiting for us, he doesn't even need to leave the room if he doesn't feel like it. Besides, I doubt we will be there for more than a week."  
taehyung kept silent for a couple of seconds, munching on his thumb nail, as if considering.  
"Okay. Fine. But I swear on my Goddamn life, if anything happens to him, I'll personally kill you" Taehyung said finally, sighing.  
"You have my word, okay? Nothing will happen to any of you."  
He really hoped he was right.

***

 

Namjoon couldn't stop thinking about Seokjin.  
looking at the wall in a little cafe a couple streets behind his apartment, he kept remembering his last encounter with the man in the hospital.  
All of the things he wanted to say, all of the kisses he wasn't able to share, all of the promises he made in his head, all of it swallowing his mind up, making his heart clench.  
With all of his other problems, he just couldn't put the subject to rest.  
He kept hoping that traveling would help him to relieve, even if i was only for a couple of weeks, even if he was right about to go on some crazy dangerous experience that could get him killed.  
sometimes he even though about that.  
Thought about dying and just getting all of his problems solved, getting his friends free, getting to stop loving seokjin...  
Namjoon shook his head, watching his reflection on a window and examining his face. Dark circles under his eyes, pale skin...  
Namjoon needed to get his shit together and move on.  
he was abruptly taken away from his thoughts once he felt his phone vibrate inside his pocket.  
"We have it. Leaving tomorrow. Come back home and pack your stuff. - Yoongi."  
Well, let's do this, he thought, downing his coffee and getting up from his seat.  
He would forget Seokjin.

***  
"i can't believe i'm leaving that shitty school to go to Las fucking Vegas! Now, that's more like it!" Jeongguk almost screamed, unable to keep quiet in his own seat.  
All six of them were on the big black van, on their way to get to the plane that would take them to Nevada and Jeongguk couldn't stop acting like an overly excited pupy.  
"Enough. You're not leaving school, besides, we're not on a little family trip, this is going to bea quick...Erm,meeting that they need to attend, that's all."  
"Chill, kid, we're not going to Las Vegas to gamble and fuck strangers." Jimin said, face hidden behid his tablet.  
Taehyung eyed the man furiously.  
"Okay, so, the plane leaves at Ten o'clock, right? So that gives us less than an hour to get there. Yoongi, can you get me a route with no traffic?" Hoseok asked from the driver's seat.  
"On it." The older answered, typing quickly in his notebook.  
"What is, exactly, the kind of plane you got us, Yoongi?" Namjoon asked from the passenger's seat.  
"Well- Hoseok, turn left, then turn right to get on the highway- Hoseok did ask me for a private jet-"  
"Are we going on a fucking private jet?" Jeongguk asked, leaning back to meet Yoongi's eyes.  
"Ahm, no, we're not. I said turn right, Hoseok, Goddamnit! Get the roundabout!"  
"Shit, sorry." Hoseok huffed, turning abruptally, making the car swing a little violently.  
"Shut up, Jeongguk." Taehyung scowled, making Jeongguk stick his tongue out to him.  
"So?" Namjoon asked again.  
"Well... You'll see."   
"Great, I can't wait." Jimin rolled his eyes.  
They made their way through some traffic until Hoseok got the right road, earning them a clean highway.  
some minutes after that, they arrived at some sort of huge field, lots of grass around a narrow grey patch of asphalt.  
"We're here." Yoongi announced.  
"Oh, yeah, we're definitely here. In the midle of nowhere." Hoseok said, stopping the van.  
"Shut up and let's go. Everyone, grab your bags and get out." Yoongi said, sliding the van's door open.  
"Yoongi, what the fuck?" Namjoon asked.  
"What in the world is that?" Jimin asked, taking his sunglasses off, frowning.  
As soon as they climbed out of the vehicle, the field was clearer.   
Right in the middle of the grass, there was a zeppelin, one that looked like it was taken out from an Indiana Jones film, his huge white baloon top a little stained from the rain.  
"A zeppelin? Really?" Hoseok asked, incredulous.  
"It was the best I could've done okay? Jesus, give me a break, do you know how hard it was to find us this?" Yoongi complained, throwing his hands up in frustration.  
"What happened to the private jet?" Jeongguk asked, clearly dissapointed.  
"Jeongguk!" Taehyung scolded.  
"No, he's right! What the fuck are we supposed to do with this? Take a baloon trip?" Jimin asked.  
"Listen, I never promised a first class trip in an american airlines plane!" Yoongi defended himself.  
"And why did you think this was a good idea? Who the fuck is flying this?" Hoseok asked.  
"Well, I am! I know how to and this thing will help us blend in! It's touristic and people will not even notice!" Yoongi answered.  
"What? Are you flying this?"  
"Okay, okay, everyone shut up." Namjoon interfered, making everyone almost bow in respect to his booming voice. "This is not the best option, but it's the best we have right now, so, please, let's just keep calm and go. We're losing time. Yoongi, do you really know how to fly this thing?"  
"Yeah, yeah, I do. My dad was a pilot and I learned very early how to fly this things, it's actually not that hard..." Yoongi answered, scratching his nape.  
"Perfect. Thank you. Let's go." Namjoon picked up his bags.  
"Thanks." Yoongi said, clearly irritated, picking his bags up and walking towards the zeppelin.  
They walked towards the huge plane-like thing, a small metal staircase propped up so they could climb through it to get inside the zeppelin.  
Yoongi climbed up the staircase with ease, two heavi bags firmly secured on each hand, followed by the other five, struggling to follow the man and not let the bags fall.  
"Well, it's actually not that bad, must admit." Jimin said as he saw the interior.  
Some little tables and couches sprawled across the living room-like space.  
"This thing was very popular in the forties, so this one is a touristic kind of zeppelin, that's why is decorated like this." Yoongi said, throwing his bags in a little chaise. "Get comfortable, I'll check the pilot's cabin." He said walking towards a small door at the front of the space.  
"Jesus Christ, this is actually from the forties?" Jeongguk asked, half impressed, half wary.  
"You bet it is." Yoongi answered, already closing the small door behind him.  
"Damn. I was not expecting that." Namjoon rubbed his face, throwing himself on one of the armchairs.  
"Fuck! What was that?" Hoseok shrieked from his seat when a low rumbling noise echoed through the whole thing.  
"No ideia, but it sounds like engines..." Jimin pondered, shrugging.  
"Oh, no, no, no, I knew it was a bad idea from the beggining!" Hoseok seemed in panic, his hands fisting the leather of his bag that was on his lap.  
"Relax, you big baby." Yoongi said opening the door and leaning against the doorframe.  
"How do you want me to relax? This thing is older than my grandmother!"  
"Jesus, fuck..." Yoongi rolled his eyes, sighing in exasperation. "Someone, give him some Xanax. Well, if you'd all excuse me, gotta put this baby in the air. Stay on your seats."  
"Well, I was not planing on going anywhere, anyways." Taehyung whispered, crossing his legs.  
"Did someone remember to bring sleeping meds? Anyone?" As everyone shook their heads, Hoseok whined, closing his eyes with full force, trying to breathe properly.  
"Is he scared of heights?" Jeongguk asked, a teasing smile on his face.  
"Terrified." Namjoon said simply.  
Slowly, the zeppelin's engines rumbled more and more, a strong buzz of metal rasping and clanking, until it started to move, very slowly at first, but increasing in speed as it went on.  
Jimin quickly ran towards the huge windows, placing both hands in the glass for a better view of the land that they were slowly leaving behind.  
"This is actually kind of awesome." He said excitedly, a small childish like smile playing on the corners of his thick lips. "I wanna see the cabin!" And, with that, he left, running towards the small cabin Where Yoongi was playing pilot.  
"Well, wake me up when we're in Las Vegas." Namjoon chose a long chaise and, picking a sleeping mask from inside his carry on, laid down to comfortably snuggle the cushions.  
"Is this going to take a long time?" Jeongguk asked, already bored.  
"Get comfortable, we have at least nine hours on this thing, I'm guessing." Taehyung said, picking up a magazine to read as Jeongguk huffed.  
Hoseok whined loudly.

***

Seokjin didn't feel great.  
Although his body was ok, his leg and his small scratches not even bothering him, his mind was in the midle of a hurricane.  
He couldn't stop thinking about Namjoon.  
It had hurted him a lot to finish everything, to just shove Namjoon away, to spit him out from his life, but he just couldn't keep that up.  
They were just not meant to be together. What a cruel joke on him.  
The problem was, he had been through a lot before.   
Lots of breakups, lots of trash relationships, lots of people trying to just take advantage of him or his status as a cop.  
Namjoon had, somewhat, cured him, in a way. Had been the only one that actually stayed with him and tried to make things right even though everything else was crumbling beneath his feet.  
And the, he was the one who had to finish everything. All because he couldn't take the pressure anymore, but mostly, because he wouldn't be able to see Namjoon in a bad situation because of him, wouldn't be able to see Namjoon behind bars because of him.  
He needed to rest, his superior had told him so, wouldn't allow Seokjin, poor exausted workaholic Seokjin, back in less than three weks, practically demanding that he went on some stupid vacation that he didn't want to go.  
He snorted, unhappy, remembering the day he came back from hospital to the district.  
A huge party welcoming him, all of his friends and coleagues, including his boss, standing proudly with a cake and some stupid colorful ballons.  
"Enjoy Las Vegas, big boy, you deserve it!" One of his officer friends say, patting his back and handing him the little envelope that contained one voucher to Las Vegas.  
He froze, eyeing the piece of paper, his mind exhausted from just the thought.  
They had bought him a trip, all from their miserable salaries, a form of showing their love and support.  
He coudn't refuse, so, naturally he just gave them an awkward smile and stuffed his mouth with birthday cake frosting.  
He sighed, looking at his open bag, some pieces of clothing sticking out of the container, socks and briefs scattered across his bed.  
at least the english course he finished last year would come in handy.  
His flight left in less than two hours and, if was being honest, the most exciting thing was the prospect of sleeping nine hours or so, a thing he wasn't able to do since college.  
He made his way to the airport, grumpy face and saggy shoulders, his single bag dangling precariously from his fingers.  
The plane was nice, at least. His friends really spent a lot of money on this.  
Relax, stupid. This is not so bad. He thought as he sat down in his assigned seat which was right at the window.  
"Passengers please buckle your seatbelts, we will take off soon." A feminine voice announced on the speakers.  
Seokjin sighed.  
Leaning his head against the window, he closed his eyes, feeling the coolness of the glass, drifting of while the lady spoke through the speakers.

***

When Seokjin opened his eyes again, the plane was mostly dark, save for a few passengers who kept their little lamps on so they could read or watch the little television.  
Seokjin yawned, cranking his neck back and forth to pop the sore bones, stretching his arms above his head.  
His vision was a little blurred, his mouth suddenly dry, his tongue feeling like sandpaper.  
Taking his seatbelts and avoiding the little old lady sleeping in the seat beside him, he marched through the little corridor between the seats in hopes to find a flight attendant, but when he opened the courtain that divided economy from first class, he froze, chills going through his spine.  
The airplane was cut in half, twisted metal and scraped white ink dissapearing into the cool night, almost like a demented window view, he felt the breeze cooling his cheeks, watching as the clouds drifted through his face.  
He wanted to scream, to alert someone, even though the plane was still flying, completely unaware that his front half was missing, but his voice seemed to be stuck in the back of his throat.  
Wasn't anyone realizing this? No one felt the cold wind or smelled the fresh air? What about pressurization?  
Seokjin grabbed the first thing he saw to try and hold himself tight, (a fire extinguisher) his heart skipping a beat as his eyes made way to the very last seat that had survived whatever the hell had happened to the plane, hanging almost off of the plane, dangling dangerously, there was someone seated in it, secure by the seatbelt.  
"H-hello?" Seokjin spoke through the thick wind, unable to recognize his own voice, weak and throaty, watching as the person, a man, dangled precariously from the seat, waiting for it to just rip off of the last metal piece to slip into the cold night, his brown hair dancing through the air, covering his face, as his torso doubled over through the seatbelt.  
"Please, you're going to fall!" Seokjin tried to speak again, but his voice was so damn weak, he could barely hear it, no louder than a whisper, sticking his hand out to try and reach for the man's blouse, but he was too far.  
The man seemed unaware of Seokjin's presence, his head shaking slowly, looking like he could be crying.  
Before Seokjin could say anything else, the man looked up, suddently very awake, and Seokjin's heart stopped.  
Namjoon looked right into his eyes, his expression one of a person that disn't sleep for five years, his cheeks streaked with tears, eyes pitch black, lifeless.  
Seokjin felt his chest ache, trying desperately to lunge himself further to grab Namjoon's hand.  
"You left me." Namjoon said, finally and that was too much, Seokjin bursting into tears. "You left me, why did you left me? Why? I loved you so much, Jin, why did you left me?" he kept repeating with his face pale and emotionless, more tears rolling down his cheeks.  
Seokjin walked forward, his heart aching, beating so incredbly hard against his ribs he thought they would break.  
"I'm sorry, N-Namjoon, P-please, take my hand!" Seokjin said, his voice still wobbly and almost a whisper, sticking his hand out to try to reach Namjoon but he was so far away...  
"You did, you left me. Why did you left me?" Namjoon repeated.  
"N-Namjoon, please! T-take my h-hand!" Seokjin walked further into the space, slowly being taken by the strong wind, his hand stretched out.  
He kept walking until he could almost rech Namjoon, but the man kept his arms limp against his sides.  
"Namjoon! p-please!"   
"Why?" Namjoon asked one more time before the seat completely released from the last string of metal, Namjoon sucked out of the plane to fall into the cold night air.  
"NO! NAMJOON!" Seokjin screamed, his chest almost exploding as the world dissolved into black nothingness.  
"Sir, are you okay?" The flight attendant asked Seokjin as he woke up, his palms sweaty and legs trembling, little streaks of tears staining his cheeks.  
"W-what?" He asked in confusion, his heart beating quickly.  
"I think you were having a nightmare, sir. Is everythink ok? Do you need anything?" She asked him.  
Seokjin looked around, realising that the plane was not cut in half. Everything was ok, he was just dreaming.  
"N-no... m'sorry ma'am." He apologised.  
"No need to apologise! Please keep your seatbelts on, we're almost landing."  
Seokjin sighed heavily, closing his eyes and feeling his eyelids burn, trying to acalm his chest.  
Once again, his dreams were full of Namjoon and empty from rest.

***

The hotel room was nice.  
A huge comfy bed waited for Seokjin as he threw his bag against the silk sheets, sighing in relief, finally able to rest.  
In retrospect, being away from everything wasn't that bad.  
Maybe that was the only way he could rlieve his stress and forget about the past.  
Not that his nightmare about Namjoon would fade from his memory anytime soon, the blank face, the dark eyes and tears...  
he shook his head.  
He needed to try to get over Namjoon. Forever.  
He was going to enjoy life without thinking too much, just for once.  
taking a quick bath, he changed his clothes for something more casual and comfortable, a black button up tucked inside his favourite black jeans. Some silver rings adorning his fingers.  
He looked himself in the mirror and smile, nostalgic. He was not used to be dressed like that because of his job and lack of free time.  
It was nice to just be able to wear whatever the fuck he wanted.  
He went down the elevator of the hotel, receiving many looks from everyone.  
he knew he looked hot, but some women and men didn't even try to be discreet about eyeing him hungrily.  
Whatever, he wasn't searching for anything like that at the moment.  
Focusing on having at least one night off, Seokjin strode through the mass of people in the hall to enter the restaurant.  
His mouth watered at the smell of food, suddently extremely hungry.  
"Do you want some wine with your meal, sir?" The waiter asked.  
Why the fuck not.  
And so, he ate and drank all he could handle before being full.  
Eating was one of Seokjin's favourite things in life and he had forgotten how much, stuffing his mouth full of delicious hotel food and drinking several cups of an amazing wine.  
Maybe too many cups of wine.  
At the end of dinner he felt pleasntly tipsy and warm, the tips of his ears reddening as the wine went through his system.  
He could hear music, a flowy beat thrumming through the hall of the hotel.  
"Come join our hawaian themed party!" An excited hotel employee said holding a colorful lei towards him.  
Why the fuck not.  
Lei around his neck and a couple of drinks later, Seokjin found himself pressed against a wall, surrounded by darkness and a solid, warm weight, heavy breathing against his ear, neck being kissed and licked.  
Seokjin whined, feeling the solid erection of the man against his thigh, arms wrapped around the stranger's nech, drink slowly dripping from his hands as the man agled his head up to press a kiss to his full lips.  
Seokjin received the contact with a surprise.  
After all, he had'nt kissed anyone in years. Not even Namjoon.  
Namjoon.  
He suddently remembered.   
Remembered that the man kissing him hungrily, the man that had no distinguishable face and whose tongue tasted of alcohol and cigarretes was not Namjoon.  
He shoved his tongue deep in Seokjin's mouth, biting on his full lower lip almost hard enough to break the skin and it was good. But even so, it was not Namjoon and he didn't even knew the man's name.  
He promised himself he would not do this, why was he doing that? Why was he letting himlself get carried away like that?  
It all just felt too good and the world was hazy, the alcohol pumping through his veins.  
The man's hands travelled against his sides, making him feel tingly and so, so good.  
In the back of his mind he knew it was a bad idea to get involved with anyone so soon.  
He still loved Namjoon, but he couldn't take the pressure, he wanted to just kiss and grope and, whatever, have sex. That wasn't a crime.  
Even if the man kissing him wasn't Namjoon and even if he didn't have the cute dimples and the soft velvety lips, and the messy brown hair, it still felt too damn good.  
It wasn't Namjoon, but it was good nonetheless.  
"Why are you crying, baby?" The man suddently pulled away, holding Seokjin's chin between his index finger and thumb, lips brushing against Seokjin's.  
Seokjin thanked the low lights of the party, not even realising, in his drunken state, that he had started to cry, just now feeling the wetness against his cheeks.  
"M'sorry..."  
"Aw, pretty baby, no need to apologise, I'll treat you just right, hm?" The man said, so very sweetly, thumbing away the tears.  
"Will you? Please?" Seokjin asked, pulling the man closer, eyeing him, taking in his dark feline eyes and black hair.  
"I promise baby." He said, gripping Seokjin's hair and stroking it.  
"I don't even know your-ah!- n-name..." Seokjin breathed out as the man fisted his hair, earning a moan from Seokjin.  
"Call me Jackson, babe." He answered against Seokjin's ear, making him shudder all over, crashing their lips together once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it for now!  
> This chapter is very important for the fic and I'm actually really proud of how it came out!  
> what do you guys think? Please let me know, let's talk about this hot mess of a fic, ya'll can scream at me in instagram at @spacepandaboy  
> Thank you guys so much for reading! See ya (hopefully) soon! kissa kissa


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